Dear servants

Dear servants and human beings I live with,

Do you eat the same everyday? No. I witnessed several of your dinners, breakfasts and lunches (but the last ones rarely, as they can’t really offer me pleasure), and your variation of feeding is stunning. You hardly eat the same thing twice in two days. Admit it! I know it. I was there.
Then why, my dear servants, should I eat the same thing my entire life? Now tell me, why wouldn’t I like to try something different from what I consume daily? Exactly – I demand new food, now.

And you, as inferior human beings, should not complain if I try to taste what you’re eating. It’s just a natural reaction to which you get angry. But what you eat, smells good, so then excuse me for wanting to know what it is! My apologies for jumping on the table – I wasn’t the one making it so high!

Now then, I’m glad we understand each other.

Sincerely,

His Catjesty

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22 Comments

  1. I thought this was going to be aliens at first. A cat makes so much more sense.

    Reply
  2. Fetch my slippers like the dog does and I might consider giving you something other than tuna Kit-e-kat mix.

    Reply
    • I’m afraid they see it differently, Michael. More like ‘Fetch my slippers and then give me something other than tuna Kit – e- kat mix’… Believe me, as a human, you have nothing to say.

      Reply
  3. Hah yeah why do cats always jump on the table? It’s like umm go away. My cat has eaten cereal before and all sorts of random things. Can’t believe she’s not dead yet.

    Reply
    • Nine lives ;). The table is really the throne for them, as if they feel like it’s their right to use it. And if it’s the shortest way to get somewhere, then why bother?

      Reply
  4. I thought this was going to be a fly or something… a cat. That makes sense. My cat has forgotten how to be a cat, she sleeps on the floor on a blanket and has to get on the chair first before going to the next level. I don’t know why she won’t jump anymore? Maybe she’s trying to be human?

    Reply
  5. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me…

    Reply
  6. Addie

     /  February 7, 2012

    My only problem is when they sit on the counter. Their little bottoms are on the cutting surface. ew.

    Reply
    • Yes, there are limits. One of them is not placing cutting surfaces where they want to sit. It’s not that hard – they can sit where they want, and we should make sure to remove any obstacle.

      Reply
  7. So amusing, seeing “his catjesty” at the end. :))

    Reply
  8. Now that you mention it, I have been feeding my cat the same thing for the last five years.

    Reply
  9. shrutitrivedi

     /  February 10, 2012

    haha. The cat complains right!

    Reply
  10. here all this time when I felt bad for feeding them (2) the same thing all the time – I should have known they were mindmelding!!! awesome post!!!
    🙂

    Reply
    • Thanks :). Sometimes they try to tell you they aren’t happy by attacking your hand for example. Also beware when they are psycholy staring at you!

      Reply
  11. Cats look at you with those eyes…I just assume it’s indifference. But maybe it’s disdain after all?

    Reply
    • Probably. If I were a cat, I would look at humans with great disdain: ‘what? they’re waking up already? come one, just have another nap!’

      Reply

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