The Story of the Missing Picnic Food

Someone ended up here when searching for ‘story the missing picnic food’, which I thought was quite funny. That’s when I opened a new post and decided to write a story about missing picnic food which would please the reader that searched for it.

It was a sunny day, a bright, sunny day that just begged to be filled with friends and picnics. No cloud could be dedected, however hard working people searched for it, and rain was something that only appeared in rain forest areas. It all seemed to be so damn perfect…
Alice felt the urge to run across the meadow that did not exist where she lived. They did have a little brook close to them, running through a small parc. She woke her sleeping boyfriend, Rich, who wasn’t as rich as his name would make believe, and said: “Rich, sweetheart, let’s have a picnic today.” After five years of knowing him, she should have thought of a better way of announcing her picnic. Rich pushed her away and slept on.
Of course, she thought. He won’t help me out now, but he will come with us. She phoned her best friend forever and ever Abby, who directly screamed: “Yes! Yes! That’s such a great idea! Yes! With the hubbies, I guess?”
“Yes, with the hubbies. Who else will carry the picnic baskets?” Alice laughed.

And like this, the picnic was arranged. Easy, quick, almost like fast food.

Alice hated fast food. She like fruit and orange juice and pancakes with ice cream and salads. Better for her body, she always told everyone. You won’t stay slim if you won’t stop eating fast food! Sometimes people aksed her why she would deny herself all the good things in life… “You only live once, girl!” But she was never sure of that. Imagine that everyone lived but once, what a waste of time that would be… She’d rather believe that everyone got second chances or at least, another try. She used that thought to console herself at night.

As she had guessed, Rich was willing to go for a picnic as soon as he had woken. Alice had prepared four picnic baskets, which seemed completely normal to her, but Rich said: “How hungry do you think we are?”
“We’re the four of us.”
“And as usually, we’re the ones who have to take care of it?”
“We? Who’s we, Rich? Remember when you were sleeping and I was preparing all this?”
Rich was surprised to hear Alice say that, and suddenly realised she was right. But still he felt slightly hurt. Women were supposed to give him self confidence, not to show him how he really was.

They left the house and drove to the brook. Everything seemed to be normal. Abby and Jake had already arrived there, but Alice didn’t know. They sat at one side of the brook, when Rich suddenly saw the friends sitting at the other side.
“Alice! They are over there!” he said. Alice, busy preparing the most perfect spot for the picnic, sighed and started to throw all the stuff back into the baskets.
“Great. You can go already, I’ll follow.”
Rich took basket and crossed the brook at the sall wooden bridge, where he was cheerfully welcomed by Abby and Jake. Alice followed and  carried two picnic baskets, counted one other, and sighed: “There’s one picnic basket missing!”
“It has to be still on the other side”, Rich said.
“Probably. I’ll go and get it.”
“Nah, we’ll do it!” Rich said, tapping on Jake’s shoulder. They immediately left to get the basket. It was surprising to see how those two lazy men suddenly were so kind. It took them incredibly long to cross the brook and to return with the picnic basket, but all men have secrets, right? Just like girls they needed to talk without any other ear around.

And when they returned, they only found two empty picnic baskets and no girls at all…

Panic. All of sudden, panic. “Where’s the picnic food?” Jake said. “And where are the girls?”
“They must have taken the food and now they’re sitting somewhere else”, Rich said. But however heard they searched at the brook, there were no girls. They decided to enter the woods. There was no one around. Where was everybody? Above all, where were Abby and Alice? Suddenly, Jake saw a girl with long brown hair and a slim body. Alice! He started to walk in her direction, until he saw another girl lying on the ground.

Blood… Blood everywhere. He recoiled in disbelief, but his eyes were right: Alice was standing next to the dead body of her best friend forever and ever. She had a gun, pointed towards Abby’s heart when she was still upright.
A gun… There had been no picnic food, not only picnic food. He heard Rich, who was running towards him.
“Have you seen them, Jake?” Rich screamed. Jake cringed, because he knew Alice would see him, and she did. She turned around and pointed the gun towards him. The steps were gone.

All was silent.

“Alice, what are you doing?” Jake stuttered.
“What I should have done long time ago”, she answered.
“I thought… I thought we were-”
“We were what? Liars? Betrayers?”
“Lovers…” Jake whispered.
“You know she thought the same?” Alice said, nodding at Abby.
“The – the same?”
“Yes, the same. But not of you. Of him.”
Now she nodded at Rich, who was just standing there, doing nothing at all. Jake was confused.
“What do you mean, Alice?”
“I mean both you and your wife tried to tear us apart. Both of you seduced one of us and betrayed the others. You were both liars and betrayers. You have always been trying to bring us down… But you won’t succeed.”
“Alice, it’s all a mistake…”, Jake said. He thought of Rich saying: “She’ll leave me for you and then I’ll be happy, Jake. Only when I can get rid of her… But you know how she is. If I leave her, she’ll hunt me down… Just one time, Jake. Do it for me. Your best friend forever and ever.” He thought of Abby. He thought of their money, which they partially gave to their best friend forever and ever, according to the bequeathal they once made up when being drunk.

Liar, he thought, before he was shot between the eyes, caught in the most treacherous complot alive.

Tadaam! I hope I’ve pleased the reader who searched for a story about missing picnic food. Even I had no idea what is would become when I started writing, but hey, two people were shot. It seems like no story is finished for me if not even one person has died.

Ah, well.

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  1. Missing food indeed! Alice is definitely a few somethings short of a picnic.
    fun, despite (because of?) the gruesome ending.

    • A gruesome ending makes a picnic somehow more… exciting? Though in real life, I’d go for a non-exciting, classic picnic :).

  2. Bit mental, that one.

    I like the justification for it.

    • Haha, that’s right!
      Without the justification, I’d probably be seen as a freak :). If anything, I wouldn’t have thought of a picnic-going-wrong if no one had searched for it.

  3. Despite, you know, people being shot, I feel like having a picnic. No really. As soon as you mentioned orange juice, salads and fruits I was sold. I want some vitamins goddamn it.

    I just hope no one assumes I am somebody’s lover and shoots me.


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