A few basic movie rules

1. If there’s one woman and one man at least involved, they will have kissed at the end of the movie.

2. However hard they fall, whatever explosion occurs close to them, they will survive. Pretty remarkable, isn’t it?

3. Try guessing who’ll survive and win – yes, it’s always the same thing in those movies.

4. Often there’s this guy with the ultimate pokerface. Almost gets shot? Pokerface. Risky trade? Pokerface. Insults? Pokerface.

5. A man with a Spanish accent is always Banderas. (Must admit the’s a good actor)

6. However many bodies are spread throughout the movie, it doens’t seem to matter at all. No one seems to wonder who’s killed them or something.

7. However much goes wrong, there will be a happy end for our beloved good guys.

These are some things I learned when watching movies, Assassins in particular.

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17 Comments

  1. Le Clown

     /  September 6, 2012

    NBI,
    And whatever happens, never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
    Le Clown

    Reply
  2. Haha I’ve never seen Assassins. But I do love the title because you get to type ‘ass’ twice. I love Antonio Banderas’s voice. It’s like a stereotypical Spanish voice. Good post! All true rules!

    Reply
    • Haha, imagine being him: probably speaking perfect English, and then having to pretend to be really Spanish :).
      Yes, it’s a great word to type for sure! The movie itself wasn’t bad either, though my brother found it a really strange movie.

      Reply
  3. Desperado was Antonio Banderas’s best work. Guns in a guitar case? And then he has a friend with a guitar case that shoots rockets.

    Broken Arrow is a movie I can think of where you thought for sure they would kiss and they don’t. They do shake hands at the end. My mom was livid.

    Reply
    • I haven’t seen these two movies, but I did see Banderas in Take the Lead, where he’s a French ballroom teacher, and he has this French/Spanish accent.
      Typically.

      No kissing? Wow, must be a bad ass movie to be so different!

      Reply
      • John Travolta’s the bad guy. I don’t know if that’s very badass…

        Poor Antonio is relegated to doing cartoon cat voices now. When’s the next Garfield movie come out? Maybe he can do that.

  4. A gripping life

     /  September 7, 2012

    I didn’t see this but I’m at a point where I can figure out what’s going to happen next, in most movies. There’s nothing original out there anymore, everything follows a formula. It can be very disappointing, but still people keep going? (probably for the popcorn! Haha!)

    Reply
    • Haha, yes, must be the popcorn :).
      Sometimes, those overly typical movies can be fun to laugh at (Raise Your Voice anyone?) but actually, I quite liked this movie. I mean, it wasn’t my favourite one, and it was pretty predictable, but still it was quite fun to watch.
      Romcoms are way worse in my humble opinion. Those movies can’t even be helped by popcorn…

      Reply
  5. Wow, if a film studies professor saw you basing all movie tropes on Assassin, he’d either have a heart attack, or give you a PhD!

    Reply
  6. Also the loudest and most annoying dude dies first. It’s almost as if he is asking to get killed.

    I apologise for my absence from this glorious bloggidy blog. I am now back and here to stay. Feel free to inquire absolutely ANYTHING you would like to know abt Russian/Polish/Lithuanian languages!!!!

    I actually studied German for 4 years but I was overloaded with languages at the time and decided to German had to go. Then I studied Spanish and finished all courses and was pretty good! But I have no one to speak to in Spanish so unfortunately I am slowly forgetting this beautiful language 😦

    My next stop – Arabic. Maaaan, how I want to speak fluently in Arabic. And then finally, Mandarin. After that, my language life would be complete.

    Did I mention how much I LOVE this blog? Only a million times? Ah, ok then.

    Reply
    • Edita, marry me.
      Seriously, your ambitions are great – languages are addictive, aren’t they? I believe Arabic and Mandarin are really difficult, like, really difficult, but the complete difference between our languages and those languages is what makes them interesting as well, I believe.
      Unfortunately I don’t speak Spanish (I wanted to learn it for a long time, but then went for Russian anyway), but with my knowlegde of French, I can understand a nice deal of Spanish anyway. Feel free to use it when talking to me, I’ll decipher it (I’ll try at least…)!

      You always flatter me so much that I can’t stop smiling when I read your comments :D.
      The day will come that we’ll meet in real life. I want to believe that. One day, we’ll have coffee together and talk in four languages at the time.
      Oh, and we’ll look AWESOME. 😉

      Reply

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