Fear (and A Competition)

I’m scared. Yes, I’m really getting scared. In a weird way.
Monday, in two days, I’ll be going to university. For the first time in 18 years (my entire life) I’ll be living somewhere else for the greatest part of the year. And that is rather scary…

In Belgium, the school system is quite easy. You have nursery school from when you’re ready until you’re six. Then you’ve got primary school, with two months holiday every year, until you’re twelve. Next, you go to high school, for six years again, with two months holiday again. Somehow, this step wasn’t that hard to make. I mostly followed my brother to his high school. I knew a few people there, and I was tired of my old classmates anyway. But this last year of high school, I was getting tired of it. I was tired of people telling me what to do. As a real member of my family, I can’t cope with people patronizing me. At seventeen, you don’t want to do useless stuff anymore. I wanted to get out of this grey zone with this patronizing, overly useless courses and teachers. It wasn’t all that bad, of course, but I needed to break free.

Yeah, me too.

Now I’ve come to the point of leaving high school, leaving this city, leaving this people behind (man, like I’ve got tired of people this year!). And now I’m getting scared. I will know no one in my new class! I’ll have to find out stuff by myself! I’ll have to feed myself!
I’ll have to survive completely on my own!

In fact, that’s not true. My brother will be in the same city , some friends will be there as well, plenty of help is available if only you ask for it. And yet it keeps me awake at night. Not too long, because sleep takes over eventually. You get my point. I’m changing my life Monday and I can only hope I’ll make it better. But who can guarantee that my class will be filled with nice, amusing people, that my courses will be fun and that I will be able to handle it?

That’s why I’m scared. Nearly scared to death.

Bonus! If you are a good reader of mine, you could perhaps know which studies I’ll be doing! I need at least one keyword. E.G. ‘Swahili’ if I’d so Swahilian and Star Warsian studies. The first one to guess the right studies may choose his own prize!

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18 Comments

  1. You’ll do fine. Don’t do too many drugs and don’t go on any dates with guys sideways caps. That’s what the dean of my college said on the first day. Good advice to live by.

    I never went to real University, I went to what we have called “community college” I’m sure you have something like that. I dated a girl for 3 years who was in college so I got the college experience through her. Don’t get really fat. Everyone she knows did and now they all want to kill themselves. I wish you luck!

    Reply
    • Good advice indeed. And yes, I’ll try not to get fat! I won’t eat the most healthy meals ever, but the stress will help te remain my slender self I guess.
      We’ve got two types of schools after high schools. One type is for the more practical studies, the other for the really theoretical studies. What have you done exactly? O, and have a guess for what I will do ;).

      Reply
      • I went to school for TV/Radio. It was almost useless. I’m still attempting to get into it but it’s not something a degree is necessary for.

        I’d guess you’re doing something with…dance?

      • I shut my mouth until everyone had his/her chance to guess… 🙂 The Big Reveal will come.

  2. Ah, I’m jealous of you. The good kind of jealous, though. Live, love, learn laugh a lot. Keep up with your classes and projects but don’t worry too much about it. Enjoy your experience without losing sight of your goals. Party hard but be responsible. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

    Just have fun! 😉

    Reply
  3. The fear is normal.
    And then one night, you’ll go out for dinner or a drink (not 72 drinks) with your roomate and/or friends from classes, and realize that you can do anything you want.

    Have a blast! It will be like learning a brand new Language!

    Reply
    • I’ll guess that is right. It’s just the first week, perhaps weeks, that will be hard. But somehow I do think I’ll be fine, I’ll have friends, everything will turn out fine.
      I hope :).
      If not, I can still count on you! 😉

      Reply
  4. The second you are settled and know you way around the scary goes away. And then you surely will enjoy being away from the known and experiencing all the new stuff.
    In regards of patronizing – I don’t think you’ll ever be in a situation where you aren’t exposed to patronizing people … they are everywhere. Just keep in mind it is usually their insecurities that make them react that way.

    Reply
    • Yes, as soon as I’m all settled down, everything will be easier and better and stuff. I hope so at least :). It’s the first weeks that scare me the most, because then I have to make new friends, I have to find places, I have to do things all on my own. As soon as all that has become clear, I think I’ll really enjoy it!
      Feel free to have a guess on my studies as well ;).

      Reply
  5. A gripping life

     /  September 23, 2012

    You’ll be just fine. The world is a very manageable place, actually. Most people are happy to help you find your way and answer questions. It will be a piece of cake. Enjoy making new friends and have fun being free!!! I’m jealous too. Not of the school work but of the social life. HAVE FUN!!!

    Reply
    • Thanks, Lisa, I’ll do my best! 🙂
      If there’s on thing I’ve learned by now, it’s to ask things. As you say most people are very likely to help me. There will be a lot to be asked though, I have to make sure not to stalk people ;).

      Reply
  6. The truth is that university life is nothing to be scared of. These were probably the happiest days of my life up until now. I finished my uni with straight A’s AND still managed to bust-a move or two in some of London’s Soho clubs.

    I rented a house with my friends in 2nd year which was fantastic – I don’t remember there being rainy day that year – even when it was raining I just felt truly happy.

    And that feeling of pure happiness, when you sorta live alone but nothing in the big gun world matters yet, is what I wish you. It’s so serene, so positive.

    Also, you will get to experiment and figure things out! Yes yes, sure, people will tell you don’t do drugs, don’t drink yourself to oblivion etc – but I am sure you are smart enough to make decisions on your own. (Psst uni years is when doing all of the above is allegedly ok, or so I heard – some of my friends did it, they live and they are fine too ;)) )

    I was thinking you’d do dance/drama or some creative writing. One thing I KNOW for sure is that languages will be involved. I can sign my name under that too – that’s what a seasoned reader I am.

    Reply
    • I’m a bit less scared now! I’ve made some friends already, I live in a house with very nice people (helps to feel at home!) and so I’m not really scared anymore. They are overloading us with information, but I know that this feeling will go away after a few weeks. I’ve got people to help me and that feels good!
      Today we’ve been talking a bit about Lithuanian, and I directly thought of you :). I will for sure not limit myself, haha. Yesterday there was free wine, and I’ve drank a few, and got up at half past seven this morning, realising I’ll be doing this so often, and that I’m able to do it. Yay!

      Reply
  7. Fantastic! Was going to drop a line to see how the adjustment was going, but sounds like you’re making a great start!

    As far as the out-all-night-and-up-by-seven, it’s when you’re in your forties and still think you can do that all the time that the problems start, so enjoy it while you can…

    Reply
    • Haha, I will :D. Yes, I’m not having a bad start… I’m not crying myself to sleep and I’m so happy with that! A post about it soon.
      Thanks for thinking of me, by the way. You are always so very kind!

      Reply

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