How to hate pants

There was a certain year in my life I suddenly realised that it had been eight months since I last wore a skirt. I’ve always been the girl you imagine in heels rather than sneakers, the girl who cares about clothes, the vain one, but a skirt? Barely. That had a lot to do with my fear of being cold and with the fact that I had to drive my bike to school every day. Believe me when I say you prefer pants when driving a bike.
Though that’s not longer true… Alas! Today, I’m a tall and slender girl, 1m80, size small (waist at least), whatever size that is in Amerika. The point is that clothes aren’t made for people who are tall and slender. Somehow you’re supposed to be fat when you’re tall, and skinny when you’re small. The point is that this is not always true, and that’s why I end up not buying a lot of clothes because when the size is right, they are too short. Especially now the fashion’s all ‘short and wide’ my life is ruined. ‘Short’ means extremely short for me, and sorry, but I don’t want the entire world to see my belly button. Besides, that’s freak ass cold!

Are you kidding me? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Unfortunately the same thing happens to pants. One golden rule if you buy pants: make sure they feel tight at the waist when you buy them! They always expand. I hate it when they do, because I don’t like wearing belts. But when you try to find pants that seem to fit, they are always, always too short. Try to ride a bike without looking fucking ridiculous because your pants disobey gravity and end up exposing your ankles…. It’s very well possible that no one gives a shit, but I can feel it and it pisses me off a whole lot.

‘If pants are no longer good’, you’d say, ‘then wear skirts.’ But guess what… All skirts are short as well! And as ever, ‘short’ means ridiculously short for me. Sometimes people tell me I look like a model (which isn’t true, I think) and they’re jealous of me. Well, they should try to find decent clothes with my height.

Voluntarily exposed ankles. Wtf.

Okay, this is all a bit dramatic.  Being tall has its advantages, but also some disadvantages, one of which is the impossibility to find well fitting clothes. At this moment I’m wearing total badass leatherlook pants, but they are too short when I’m on my bike and this pisses me off so goddamn much that I could have knocked over anyone who would have dared to say something to me. Of course I’m opposed to violence and only hit my chair, to which I almost apologised again.
My point is that I start to hate pants, and skirts, and clothes in general, for not being fit for my height. So dear shops and designers and whatever, just start making clothes for all those people who are tall and slender because they exist for god’s sake, they are alive and want good jeans!!

PS: One tip – don’t look for ‘naked ankles forbidden’ on the Internet. I tried to find an image about how it used to be forbidden to show your ankles. That’s not what you find though. Not at all…

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15 Comments

  1. Mummy, that Belgian girl is scaring me again!

    Life is complex and fraught for you girls, eh? Exposed belly buttons and ankles are actually very nice to look at.

    Reply
    • Life’s so hard… Especially when you’re tall and skinny. The horror to fit in the beauty ideal!
      However nice they are to look at, it doesn’t feel well. It’s not as hot as it was in July anymore…

      Reply
      • Ha!

        You’re probably better off avoiding all that beauty ideal stuff. It’s something you’ll be chasing for your entire life and never reach it. It’s easy to look at pictures of famous celebrities and models and think that they have it easy, but they’ll be full of the same anxieties as you.

      • Thanks for the advice, Michael, but I actually meant it’s hard to be so close to the beauty ideal of being skinny and tall, because people assume no one gets so close and therefore there don’t have to be clothes that fit them.
        Now I sound cocky.

  2. NotAPunkRocker

     /  September 30, 2013

    When I was skinny, everything was a high water on me because my leg length was out of proportion to my waist size. I know some places have talls in smaller sizes, but good luck. You have to beat the crowd to find them.

    Reply
  3. BELLY BUTTONS!!!
    Are there specialty stores for unusual sizes? In the US, we have a chain of Big & Tall stores catering to non-average sizes.

    This might be the first case of “ankle conscientiousness” I’ve ever heard of…

    Reply
    • Someone likes belly buttons ay?
      There should be a shop called Skinny & Tall with the exact clothes and shoes I want. I hope I’ll run across a fairy who can arrange that for me.

      Maybe it’s a typical Belgian thing but the ‘high water’ phenomen is actually much criticised here…

      Reply
  4. Hahahaha now I’m afraid of typing in those search words….
    I see your problem. Don’t know about being tall but I have the problem with my bodily proportions. I have a skinny waist compared to my thick hips, this makes finding jeans that really fit almost impossible. Also, I have pretty wide shoulders and big arms so try finding a nice blouse that isn’t three sizes to big on my waist………

    I think your only option is expensive jeans! They usually go up to length 38.. that should be alright for you??

    Reply
    • Haha yes, I believe I’ve got 34 for length…
      You’re very right to be afraid, unless you like other stuff than me…

      I too have wide shoulders and a small waist, and it’s so hard to find T-shirts and blouses! I gave up on tight ones, because they would be too short and too small at the shoulders.

      Share my pain. We should start a brand together or something. Our main inspiration could be ballet ;).

      Reply
  1. Life Choice # 8: Trousers or Skirts? | No Blog Intended

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