FAQ to the Vegetarian

You don’t eat meat?

Nope, I don’t.



But a bloody steak can be so good…

I disagree. De gustibus etc, you know.

Do you eat fish?

Considering the fact that they are also animals, no.

Then what do you eat?

Yeah, nothing you know. Vegetarians don’t eat. A sporadic thistle perhaps.

Are you kidding me?

Is it so hard to imagine vegetarian food? There’s plenty. You can easily eat pasta without meat. There’s tofu, and quorn, quinoa, rice, blé, nuts, beans, dates and so on.

Aren’t you a hypocrite? You’re wearing leather shoes.

Yes, I am. But there are reasons for this. Leather shoes are better for your feet and last longer than plastic ones. Plastic is ecologically not much better than breeding and killing animals. Next to that, I stopped eating meat because of ethic reasons, but by now I just dislike the taste of meat a whole hell lot. I’m not a raging vegetarian who tries to convert everyone. So in this context, please excuse me my leather shoes.

So you don’t think everyone should be a vegetarian?

No. It’s a choice you have to make. If you choose differently, good for you. The only thing I ask is that you stop talking about bloody steaks when I tell you I don’t eat meat, and that you consider not eating meat every now and then. It’s ecologically better to skip it for let’s say a day each week. Be open minded towards this. Thanks.

But, I mean, it’s silly anyways, because people are made to eat meat. Didn’t the cave-dwellers shoot bisons and eat them?

Yes, they did. But before that, people were herbivorous. Plus, I don’t know about you, but I don’t live in a cave anymore.

Don’t you miss it?

No. As I said, I started disliking the taste and even smell of meat. It just doesn’t appeal to me anymore, just like some people don’t like oranges or something.

When will you eat meat again?

If you let met the choice, never.

One day you will.

Shut the fuck up and get out.

In case you meet a vegetarian one day, please try to ask something more original, like ‘Do you prefer quorn over tofu?’ or something like that. Thanks a lot.

Leave a comment


  1. I don’t really worry about upsetting vegetarians. Sure, they get angry, but they don’t really get enough protein to be violent.

    • I should be offended, but this is way too funny actually!
      And I don’t have enough protein. It’s true.

      • Beans and cheese are great sources. Also nuts.
        And if you are happy eating that way, there’s no reason anyone should judge you for it at all.

        Just make sure you wash your raw vegetables thoroughly. Seriously, there can be a lot of micro-organisms on there.

      • I love cheese, and nuts as well.
        I’m not sure if I really have a lack of protein, but it’s not unlikely though. I don’t have much energy in general right now, but who can really say why that is…

        So, you believe I cook? That’s cute. I don’t. Pasta and rice is as far as I go! 😉

      • Ha! It’s not that hard.
        Surely you can cook the international student meal of ramen noodles? 😀

      • Yeah sure!
        But above all anything pasta like, since I got a special pasta preparing device. I rock at that!

      • I have a pasta making machine! We should join forces and take over the dining world.

      • It’s like a match made in heaven! We’d rule the world, and the seven seas (seven? I have no idea). Everyone would be baffled.

      • I have found it wise to always follow El Guaps advice

      • That’s a great motto to live by!

  2. People are still so weird about vegetarianism. It’s such a common thing nowadays. I try not to eat that much meat. I didn’t eat any for a year which was fine, but I find that I would just eat a lot of carbs and get lazy with eating well. I like fish and chicken occasionally. But I try not to eat red meat ever. I don’t like the taste of it or crave it ever.

    I agree about the leather shoes. It’s like, not buying leather shoes doesn’t stop them from being made so might as well. And yeah, they do last longer. Nice post!

    • Thanks, Lily!
      I like your attitude about this. As you say, it’s pretty common, and yet people kind of freak out about it still.
      It’s a great thing that at least you tried! It means you’re aware of the fact that there’s more options in life than just meat.
      Which I support.

      But hey, we all knew already that you were cool, so this is nothing new, right? 😉

  3. You’ve begun to dislike the taste of meat, yet goddamn tofu is still as appealing as ever?

    • Well, my dear sarcastic goat, I don’t eat tofu either, except when it’s drowned in some kind of very tasty sauce.
      It’s not appealing, but better than meat.

      • How about synthetic meat? If they figure out how to make that stuff affordable, would you give that a try? Maybe with some of that very tasty sauce which is going to waste on a white brick of hell!

      • I don’t know. I don’t like meat, so I don’t really want anything that looks, tastes or smells like meat. I guess I’ll go for the carrots and thistles anyway… But it’s nice that they try.
        White brick of hell, hehe :). It seems that you’ve got some tofu issues.

      • What if they could make synthetic meat more delicious than anything on Earth(and they could very well do that)? No animals would be harmed, no pain or cruelty involved. I know I sound like a synthetic meat marketer, but I’m just genuinely fascinated by the morality of meat-eating and non meat-eating. I do eat meat, but I don’t feel good or proud about it. And tofu is the Devil’s chalk!

      • If it would be very delicous, yeah, I might give it a shot. It seems to be as unharming as it can be, so why not?
        It’s just that if it tastes like meat, I will just dislike it because I dislike the taste of meat. I’m also glad no animals have to die for my food, but they still have to die for my feet, so I can’t claim that that is priority.
        I agree that tofu isn’t all too exciting…

        I hope this sort of clears out my view on eating meat? I must say I’m glad you are fascinated ;).

  4. RO

     /  November 6, 2013

    There is a difference between a vegetarian and a vegan! Exactly like you said 🙂 If you were a vegan you would never use animal products but a vegetarian just doesn’t eat them 🙂

    Good for you! I was a vegetarian in my youth for 1 day…. and then my father baked a steak with stroganoff sauce. Yeah didn’t work out well.

    • Hahaha, yeah, at least you’ve tried! It’s something.
      Ah, indeed, that solid argument will be my next best answer for those goddam people judging me! Thanks! 😉

  5. I laughed.

    I do find vegetarianism a bit bonkers though.

  6. Ani

     /  November 6, 2013

    My favorite – “How do you get your protein?” Easy. From anything and everything that does not have a face.

  7. In case we meet a vegetarian one day? I know vegans! They’re the people vegetarians make fun of for being weird. Do not regress to vegan ice cream. That’s the line of bonkers as Michael called it.

  8. I bet you are amazingly healthy! I have recently halved the meat intake of our family…and I have 4 boys. There is so much I hate about the way animals are “harvested”. I now have my own chickens..with a rooster. They are such beautiful animals…all with different personalities. There is so much more to say about factory eggs.

    • I hope I am!
      Great thing you did that – but also, good luck! It might get hard, but remember, it’s for a good cause ;).
      Yeah, once you realise what kind of animal you’re eating, it starts to get somewhat personal, in a weird way…

  9. beautycalyptique

     /  November 8, 2013

    *smirk* great one. there is a fab strip with Nemi on that, too.

    what I also get a lot of is: you don’t get enough proteins! (fats/iron/vitamins/calcium/…)
    or things like: but you can eat liver, it’s NOT meat

    thankfully, my healthy (and personalised, duh) plant-based diet has started to pay off and so I can point at my glowing, dewy skin and a thatch of 100% grey-free hair in my mid-thirties and say: show me yours, meat-eater.

    • Ooh, that’s the best comeback, isn’t it?
      I don’t really get why liver isn’t meat, and besides that I’ve heard it’s really disgusting – quoting a meat lover!

      Keep up the glowing hair, Beauty Alyptique! 😉

      • beautycalyptique

         /  November 8, 2013

        probably those people think “hey, they don’t eat meat (as in steak), but why not nibble on the bones (gelatine) or feast on the intestines (liver)?”
        as for the beauty effects: I think the times of pale, anaemic vegans are gone. we’re all so up-to-date with nutritional research these days.


      • Yeah, people can have strange ideas on veggies. I once told a girl I also refuse to eat fish, and her reaction was: “But there are so many fish!”
        I was like ‘yeah… And how does that matter exactly?’.
        As you say, we’re up-to-date with this! Well put.

      • beautycalyptique

         /  November 9, 2013

        maybe she thought you were afraid to eat ALL THE FISH! 😀 as you said, just strange ideas.

      • Hahaha, probably! 😀
        i just stood there like ‘yeah, fish aren’t animals, and yeah, there is no overfishing at all’.
        Sometimes, people still surprise me so hard!

  10. First of all, I personally like both tofu and quorn. Also, the conversation reminds me of every conversation I have with my parents.
    The only difference is that I eat fish (which makes me pescaterian), I used to not eat it but a blood test showed me it was high time I started 🙂 I guess every organism is different 🙂
    I really like the change I made to my life and I totally agree with you. Being a veggie is not for everyone and I personally think it’s especially not for kids.


    • Health reasons are good reasons to eat fish and/or meat. Which probably also means it’s not the best for children. Perhaps if you really give them the right food to make up for not eating meat, but overall I think I agree with you.

      I’m glad to see so many fellow veggies here! 😉


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