Let me out

Every time I enter classroom, I feel a bit locked up. Even though it might be warm there, and my friends are there, and I chose for this – I want to get out. I’m not sure anymore. I used to think I had chosen the exact right studies, and my life is changing for the better. But now I start to doubt. What’s the point of all these classes? What will they do for me in the end?
And it’s not even the boring, exhausting ones that make me want to run away fast. I used to love languages, I used to love Russian and Polish. I just don’t feel that way anymore now. Everything is obligatory, I don’t do it for fun anymore. I do it because I have to.

And everytime I enter a classroom, I feel like they are closing the doors behind me and I have to stay for the following boring two hours. There are windows everywhere, and I can see people outisde, and I want to go where they are going.

Of course I’ll keep on going. I just hope to find that love for this studies again. I just hope there will be more fun things instead of just doing all this obligatory stuff. Why is life only about your duties?

I just want to run around and have fun.

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18 Comments

  1. Fun? Sorry, only homeless people who drink cheap vodka all day get to have fun.

    You’ve joined the rat race and there’s only one way out.

    I am so glad that I don’t have to bother with lessons and exams these days. I can barely be bothered to do the occasional one for work, let alone fulltime education.

    If it wasn’t so cold and rainy here, I’d be quite happy to be homeless.

    Reply
    • Cheap vodka sounds like a solution!

      I don’t even have a house, actually. I mean, I have a place to stay, but it’s not even mine. Techincally I’m kinda homeless, no? Time to buy the vodka and a ticket to London and then let’s be homeless together, because at elast you’ve got someone to complain to then…

      Reply
  2. I would always be scared that my blog would become that….

    I sooo understand you. There’s work and there’s play. If you mix work and play, it will just be work.

    Edita
    http://www.pret-a-reporter.co.uk

    Reply
    • If you mix work and play, it will just be work – indeed! Can I use that sentence? I’ll say it’s yours.

      Life is only work now. I want to play like a kid again, I want to climb trees and make up stories about ‘gold diamond princesses’.

      Reply
  3. I hated studying and I was never very good at it so I can understand a little. That said 20 year later I wish I had knuckled down and studied lol so you stick at it! 😛

    Reply
  4. Can you see what you loved about them at all in your classes?
    Just lie a musician who has to play hours of scales to learn how to make music, once you move on to the advanced classes, it may be more fun…

    Reply
    • The languages classes or pretty okay, it’s the other courses that bore me. I only have them this semester, so I hope things will get more interesting the next semester. As far as I’ve heard though, the teachers won’t get better…
      Next year I hope to go study abroad, perhaps that will break the routine!

      Reply
  5. Pffeeewwww I know what you mean.. I didn’t like studying that much but when I think of it those days were pretty awesome. No grown-up decisions yet to be made (not a lot at least) and a structure in your life that left you with an excuse for a lot of things you didn’t want to do 🙂 Sorry, I have exams coming up.. need to study! Ohhhh and hello summer break! ( Unless you become a teacher, like me, appreciate the free holidays you have left 😉 )

    Reply
    • I’m afraid I will only appreciate this once it’s over! I’llt ry though. But you might remember I said there are so little fun things this year… It hasn’t got better yet. Hopefully there will be more fun things, because they make everything more glittery and shiny and bearable.
      I wasn’t planning on becoing a teacher, but who knows :).

      Reply
  6. But what’s it all for? What does it all mean??? Haha, yes, I understand. Some classes were so boring at the time, and they had nothing at all to do with my major, so it all seemed like a waste of time.

    But years later, and I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge. I just love to learn. I think those liberal arts studies contributed to that love.

    They say it’s our mind that makes a heaven or hell, so just try shifting your thinking around, learn for the joy of learning, that sort of stuff.

    Reply
    • The weird thing is that I was so very sure this was the best choice I could have made. I guess there were more reasons to be happy than to be disapointed last year. I should try to find those reasons again.
      Maybe I just need some more interesting classes and more going out! 😉

      Reply
      • Yeah, it’s good to shake things up occasionally. Go put some more fun things into your life, put on that hat and fishnets and red lipstick and go dancing. 🙂

      • That sounds liek the best plan EVER. Especially the fishnets. And the red lipstick. Above all the dancing! 😉

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