Oh the Panic

Have you ever been in a situation where you really, really wanted something, and then, when it got real, you got a panic attack because you’re not completely sure?

I’m in that position now. I’ve been saying I want to study abroad for quite a while now, but we finally got a list with possible destinations, and suddenly I would love to stay at home and stay here and not go away. As soon as I saw the list, panic rushed through me.

Shit’s getting real! Fuck! But I’m not really sure about this! I don’t know anything about this!

It’s true that there is still a lot to be done before I can really go studying abroad. Lots of documents, lots of stuff, lots of everything. That kinda scares me, because I’m always afraid of doing something wrong. Next to that the deadline to send all the documents needed to actually have a chance is really soon. Communication has been hard, so we were informed about this very late and now suddenly everything has to happen in a hurry.

It’s not the moment to hesitate. I’ve been saying I want this for quite a while now. I’ve been hearing stories of people liking it. But now suddenly, I’ve come to realize I will leave my family and friends behind and now it scares me.

It’s a great opportunity though, for a language student. I know I have to do it. But I really hope the panic will be replaced by enthusiasm soon…

Leave a comment


  1. NotAPunkRocker

     /  February 23, 2014

    I can understand the panic, but what a great opportunity for you! Not to sound all mom-like, but take advantage of these opportunities while you can 🙂

    • I know, that’s what I’ve been telling myself for months now too, haha :). I know I HAVE to do it… But that might just be what scares me now.
      But of course, I will do it.


  2. Studying abroad is totally scary! But the best thing is that you’re not the only one and you would most likely be with a group of students your same age. And you get to learn about a new place really well and actually say that you lived there. It’s pretty life changing. You won’t regret it. But scary? Yes.

    • The way you put it makes it sound very exciting again :D. Glad to see though that I’m not the only one thinking this is scary…! But I will go and I will be able to tell everyone I lived there :).

  3. It’s a biggie – I would be scared shitless too. I hope you have the courage to jump anyway. It sounds like a hell of an opportunity. Much strength. x

  4. I bet it gets better than your wildest dreams, as soon as you get to the other country!
    Once the shock wears off and the paperwork is handed in, the enthusiasm will probably return.

    • Yeah, I think so too. Especially as soon as the paperwork is over! Because I still need people to help me with that kind of stuff, I mostly fail to understand what I am supposed to do there… But as I’m not the only one having to fill it all in, I will probably find someone who can tell me what to do :).

  5. Carpe diem. Tempus fugit.

  6. Just try to remember you’re not moving to Mars or anything. Just visiting a different country! You can still communicate with Your family and friends. 🙂 You’ll do awesome. 🙂

  7. This is when you find out how much of a homegirl you are.

    I’ve never heard of any Astrids going abroad and failing so I reckon you’ll be fine.

  8. I know this feeling all too well, it’s even crept up on me going towards my new study… But still, you should really go for it!! I went to England for four months and they were some of the best months of my life, honestly! Go go gooooo!

    • Yes, on ‘smaller’ levels it also hits me :). I’ve never heard of really bad epxeriences abroad, and with every good comment I read or hear, I start to find my courage again.

      Next to that: the city in Russia I want to go to turns out to have a quite well known opera :D. I’m so going! 😉

      • Ohhhh awesome!! Maybe some nice ballet performances or places where you can go to class..?? Bring your pointes! 😉 And maybe they have some cool stores where you can buy some Russian pointes or some Russian ballet gear..!! 😉

      • I hope so, I hope so! Want something as well, just ask ;).

      • Haha girlllllllll I’ll give you a whole freakin’ list!! 😉

      • You do realize you will have to pay me back, right? 😀

      • Haha yes I do 😉 But I don’t think I could make a list that quick, although I’m pretty interested in the Grishko flats that someone in the blogsphere bought… 😉

      • It’s only for next year though, so plenty of time to make a list! Which flats exaclty?

      • Haha! Well they were on Back To First Position’s blog. Not really sure about the model and stuff. But I don’t even know my size in ballet flats so maybe that’s somewhat of a mission impossible 🙂

  9. DO IT DO IT DO IT. DUUUUH! Where will you be going though? x

  10. Three Words For You: GO! GO! GO!


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