To Curve or Not To Curve

Last week I got to hear that I look so thin three times. It had been a long time again since I got to hear this. When I was younger, I was used to these remarks. People also asked me if I even eat. Yes, I do. I’ve got friends who sometimes forget to eat, but I can’t do that. I need my food, every two hours if possible. Otherwise my stomach starts to growl and that’s embarrassing. I like to eat. It shouldn’t be the finest, best thing I’ve ever eaten. Give me French fries and I’m one happy girl.

I just have amazing genes. For those who don’t believe it exists: it does! I’m certainly not the kind of person who is capable of dieting. I can’t say no to things I want, unless they really harm me or something. I’m one of the few lucky girls who can eat literally everything and don’t get fat. The downside to that is that people think I cannot judge other people. ‘You’re not fat!’ ‘You can’t judge that, you’re thin’. Plus the remarks on how thin you look. I mean, I know they don’t mean that in a bad way, but it kind of gives the impression that you don’t look good. Thin people could have anorexia. Thin people could be sick. Naturally thin is not often seen as a real option. I don’t think I look sick though. For a long time I was even convinced I had muscular legs. Then I saw a picture of me and thought ‘oh… they are thin indeed’. They are muscular though. Without muscles they would look scary indeed.

I’m not sick and yes, I eat. I’m lucky to have a body like this. I’m happy with that. But then, there are always people who say that real women have curves. So you’re not a good woman when you don’t have curves. Honestly I think this is made up by people who were in fact jealous but didn’t want to admit it and then tried to make non-curvy women the bad ones. So yeah, apparently I’m not a real woman. You can not be thin and curvy, unless you’ve been cut in and filled up with nasty stuff. The people who say that often pretend to be those who defend the ‘real beauty’ thing. You know, ‘all women are beautiful! Because real women have curves!’ Eh, yeah right. This curves thing also serves as an excuse to be overweight sometimes. Most people don’t think that is attractive, simply because it’s not healthy. People fall for healthy looking people, with good teeth, good skin and shiny hair. Healthy people can reproduce, and that’s the whole point. This is why obesitas isn’t considered beautiful. This is also why very thing people aren’t considered attractive. But now I’m speaking of the really sick ones or those with an eating disorder (because I really hope I’m attractive of course!).

Real women can be curvy or not curvy at all. The form of your body doesn’t make you ‘real’ or ‘not real’. Stop trying to force a new beauty ideal upon us this way. What is truly important is being healthy and happy and NOT trying to look like the ideal people try to force upon you.

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  1. NotAPunkRocker

     /  May 20, 2014

    As a fat chick, I hate this whole “embrace your curves” thing myself.

    I think the issue for me is that skinny is always seen as “good” or “healthy” or “not a problem”, even though we know that isn’t always the case. Fat, however a person chooses to define it (size 10 or 30), will always be viewed as a “problem” and burden/nuisance to others.

    • I don’t know though. Seeing all the questions I got when I was younger, I wouldn’t say skinny is seen as not a problem. Apparently that is suspicious as well. But it very likely seems to be the standard.

      If only the focus wouldn’t be on bodies that much!

      • NotAPunkRocker

         /  May 20, 2014

        Maybe not “problem”. I know if you look up “skinny shaming” a lot comes up, but I think it is more acceptable to “fat shame”. IDK. I have been both as an adult, underweight and overweight.

        I think people need to just mind their own bodies, for sure πŸ™‚

      • Yes, that is probably true! As a skinny person people sometime look at me if they suspect I don’t eat, but I never get shit for that. When you’re not skinny though, people tend to laugh at it more easily. Sad thing.

        As you say! πŸ™‚

  2. I think being healthy is the important thing here. Body types vary and we shouldn’t judge somebody by their size in either direction. But taking a look at health means looking at the whole person. Somebody can be size 16 and healthy, somebody can also be size 16 and morbidly obese. Somebody and be lean an fit. Somebody can also be lean and anoerexic. We just have to consider the whole person and their lifestyle before we can begin to determine anything about them.

    • Very wise words! I agree. I’m also lucky to be very tall, so being overweight is ‘harder’ for me since I have so much space to fill ;). And there can always be a reason for being underweight or overweight. Medication, illness, I don’t know. We should try not to judge so easily all the time for sure!

  3. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. There is no set definition.

  4. The main problem is that this kind of thing is always discussed in absolutes. It’s always fat or skinny, with seemingly nothing in between.

  5. The Dancing Rider

     /  May 20, 2014

    More than the “attractive” thing, I like to see healthy people. Some people are naturally thin. From 18 to 17 I could not get over 118 pounds at 5-6. Later things changed. But I was healthy.

    However, I know people in both extremes — clinically obsese, and dangerously thin. To my eye (and what do I know?) these folks could be healthier. A friend of mine is the same height as me, 5-6, about my age (we are both quite old), yet she weighs almost 20 pounds less due to this need to control via her eating. Or, more accurately, not eating.

    On the plus side, she does not have a big tummy like I do, or rolls here and there. I do. Shrug. I enjoy food. While I do my best (which is a lot harder the older you get) to stay reasonable, I don’t fret about it Tough if someone doesn’t think me attractive, or thinks I should be in better shape.

    There are all kinds of in-between. I know, I’m one of them. I just think the extremes are most likely NOT healthy. If you are naturally slender, go with it. Everyone can’t be Sofia Vigara! πŸ™‚

    • Agreed – extremes are most likely not healthy. And you know, if you enjoy food, than just eat, because that will give you more joy than having a little less fat. You should also find a good balance between healthy food and overly controlled food.

      So let’s all go get some French fries now πŸ˜‰

      • The Dancing Rider

         /  May 20, 2014

        Yes! I love fries, too! πŸ™‚ I so agree about moderation in foods. I eat a bit of everything, though less in say things like cakes and cookies — which I just don’t like as much anyway. But give me some fries! I’ll take those!

      • You would love Belgium πŸ˜€

  6. Oh, fuck that real women have curves shit (sorry. I don’t know if this kind of language is allowed here. Feel free to delete) but seriously, fuck that shit. It is equally shaming. Real women are women who see and feel themselves as women. Period. Real women come in all sizes and shapes. There. πŸ™‚

    I love that my fellow countrywoman Sofia Vergara is mentioned above πŸ™‚

    • That language is surely allowed! Especially when making that point ;). It’s true, as long as you feel as a woman, that should do, however curvy or ‘flappy’ you are! That should be common sense.

      I once read she’s also called Sofia Viagra…

      • oh dear.. hahahaha I don’t think that’s true but it is certainly funny.. oh, you mean, other people call her that?

        When she was young and still in Colombia (as was I) we knew her as Toti Vergara, Toti being the short for Sofia πŸ™‚

      • It’s of course as a pun, but yeah, it’s kinda funny πŸ˜‰

  7. All I know is if I even sniff food I put weight on. I was on child who never lost her puppy fat and it was a roller coaster ride like that for years lol

  8. I think this is always a very sensitive subject, but certainly one that is often discussed.
    I don’t really know where I stand on the whole ‘curve’ thing. I think it’s basically about whether your weight is healthy for your body. Some people are naturally curvacious, some people aren’t. I have curves in the fact that I have a very small waist and not so small ass, haha! But I’m not considered fat, not at all. That’s because my body weight in is in accordance with my height, and I have an athletic build.
    There’s nothing wrong with a little junk in the trunk, unless it’s a tub of lard in the trunk…
    I have friends who are very slender and they were always considered to be ‘too skinny’. They coulnd’t help it though, they always ate everything. It’s entirely different for me, I really have to be on my toes in regards to food and exercise, which is pretty darn annoying.

    • As you say, not the number is important but how it ‘fits’ on your body. Whether it makes you curvy or slender, that shouldn’t be the issue…

      Well yeah, I believe that it’s annoying! But remember, according to some people, you are the only real kind of woman! πŸ˜‰

  9. I am so glad you wrote this! I was seriously about to write a blog about the SAME THING. I get this all the time too and was recently ranting to a friend about how everyone seems to judge me because I am thin. It’s not like I’m trying. i’m not super in shape. I just stay thin. But I always get “well you’re so skinny” and comments about how it could be embarrassing to go shopping with me because I’d embarrass the “fat” girls. But really? I love people, I think all body shapes are gorgeous, please stop shaming me for mine. I don’t shame you for yours… in fact I think it’s gorgeous. πŸ˜› #rantover

    • Yay, look, a fellow thinner! πŸ˜‰ Who could have known what a great pairing we were over at RoS?
      We’re all getting mixed messages and that has to stop. Everyone should just stop focusing and judging on bodies! Especially the shaming is ridiculous. Come one, you don’t want to be insulted but insulting us is suddenly okay because we are lucky enough to be naturally thing?

      Sometimes, really, people…!

      • Agreed!!! Body shaming in EITHER direction needs to just quit – just be healthy and beautiful and YOU and ACCEPTING no matter what you look like! Acceptance makes you even more beautiful in my opinion πŸ™‚

      • Agreed agreed agreed!


     /  May 21, 2014

    hallelujah. where can I sign for yes?

  11. I am so glad you posted this. I feel there’s a double standard going on, thin attacks curvy, curvy attacks thin. No, no, no. That’s so wrong.
    I am SO SO SO jealous that you have great genes – how blessed you are wooooohoooo! I am so so happy for you too πŸ˜€
    Unfortunately I don’t, but I would never judge anyone who does, I always thought they should enjoy what their parents DNA gave ’em!
    Don’t forget, A, haterz gonna hate! You are perrrfect πŸ˜€

  12. maurnas

     /  May 23, 2014

    That real women have curves things makes me want to vomit.

    Real women are anyone that identifies as a woman. End of story.

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