The Final Episode

After writing that last post, the overview of the failed love story, I realized that I had not returned to peace like I had claimed. The more I thought about it, the angrier I still got. And I knew that this had to end. I had to do something in order to let it go. Because honestly, this was not good. At all.
So I gathered my courage and send him a message, in which I explained that in my eyes he had done exactly what he had told me he wouldn’t do, namely ignoring me. And therefore I no longer felt the need to follow his life on Facebook.

Yes, we were still “friends” on Facebook.

Then I deleted him. It was terrifying. I knew I had sent a pretty okay message, I didn’t insult him, I just said what I thought. Short and dry. But still, I didn’t know what was about to come and I was a little scared.

Today I read his response. He said that that was fair and then explained that shortly after our night together, another girl had given him a chance, and he had liked this girl for a long time already. Then he got really busy and after that no longer knew how to bring it up to me, so he decided to take a safe bet of ignoring me. I wouldn’t call it that safe though, because I was pretty outraged. But okay. He admitted that it was cowardly and wished me all the best.

There we’ve got it. An explanation at last. After I had read that message, I realized that I needed that so hard. I needed to know why I was left behind just like that because I couldn’t believe that he just wanted to use me for sex. But here it is. Reasons.

I then responded that that explained it, that I hoped things turned out fine with the other girl and I wished him all the best as well.

We then wished each other good luck with the finals and that was it.

I finally got my real end, my final post about it. It feels like a relief now. I got my explanation, I got my peace of mind again. Of course I should have done this ages ago, but I don’t think I could have done it a month ago. I needed all three months to send this message, but I did it, thank god.

So now I’m really back to peace. Doesn’t this seem a glorious reason for champagne, anyone? πŸ˜‰

No, I don't need revenge anymore... But this was too brilliant to leave unposted!

No, I don’t need revenge anymore… But this was too brilliant to leave unposted!

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32 Comments

  1. Revenge is sweet; closure is beautiful.

    Reply
  2. Glad you got that closure. And don’t ever underestimate the stupidity of men.

    Seriously, we’re morons.

    Reply
  3. I’m glad he was honest and that you finally have closure.

    Reply
  4. I like that instead of you sitting by, and letting your emotions and mind ( which our minds honestly never quiet themselves and drive us internally nuts slowly but surely when something is deeply on our minds) I’m glad that you sought out and received your own closure, to find out the truth, to know why..to get back to happiness and peace.

    Reply
  5. I’m glad you received closure– it certainly doesn’t always work out that way. I still say he was an arse and you can do way better, don’t forget it.

    Reply
  6. Sometimes it’s best to just confront the things we are sometimes scared of or still angry with. Good for you girl! Pop that champagne πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • I think so too! It was scary, for real, but it worked out fine. I should remember that!
      Yeah, isn’t it a splendid reason for champagne? I haven’t got any further than tea though πŸ˜‰

      Reply
  7. Closure is always necessary. Also – adore the picture. And let’s get those champagne corks popping, now that your Fb has him deleted, good riddance!

    Reply
  8. Seems he was just afraid to be honest with you, a fear I’m familiar with and only recently started to overcome.

    Reply
    • He was. I do believe his intentions weren’t bad, the situation just ruined it for me and then he didn’t have the guts to tell me the truth.
      I know it is hard and not easy at all, but honestly, I would have been way less furious if he had told me this before.
      However scary it is, it often is the best solution still…

      Reply
      • You’re right. It is. Knowing, however, your words are going to hurt someone is sometimes a paralyzing feeling.

        As I said, it’s something I’ve just come to terms with in the last couple of years.

      • But you probably have been dealing with something way more serious than telling someone there’s another girl you are more interested in…
        Don’t forget that not saing it could be hurting a lot worse. But if you’re coming to terms with it, you’re on the right track πŸ˜‰

  9. maurnas

     /  June 17, 2014

    It’s nice to get closure in a world where so many things can seem so meaningless and arbitrary. Good for you for expressing yourself in a positive way and getting a positive result.

    Reply
    • Oh yes indeed. There are probably people who would not understand why I make such a big deal out of it. But form my self esteem as well it made a huge difference now I know that there was a whole big reason about it!

      Reply
  10. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to give us can reason to stop the train wreck that has us believing we’re always at fault. I’m glad you got yours and seriously, his loss!

    Reply
    • Yes… I didn’t know anything and it felt like he had just tried to use me. It felt as if I was not good enough if I didn’t give in to sex. It felt horrible.
      At least now I can understand. In some way it’s a loss for both of us, but well, it’s over now so yeah…

      Reply
  11. BEAUTYCALYPSE

     /  June 19, 2014

    I’d say: let this life’s lesson show you one thing: “it’s never about you. and all of it is about you.”
    lemme explain πŸ™‚

    “it’s never about you” means that the world isn’t evolving around You. or me, for that matter. it’s not Γ  la carte and we’re not the center of other people’s universe.

    so sometimes you feel betrayed or lied to but in fact, only few people do that on purpose.
    like you would step on an ant and not notice the consequence. (of course, some people try to live consiously and avoid this or at least try to track the consequences and speak to others, but you can’t expect everybody to be that wise.)
    it’s not nice comparing your gorgeous self to an ant – while ants are pretty fab too πŸ˜€ – but I think it gets the point across.
    it also puts YOU back in control.
    bad feelings don’t need to be just that, bad feelings. they are your signposts simply saying “girl, that’s just plain wrong thinking. yes, you opened up. and then he was gone. but probably the guy has his own reasons. I won’t feel bad about it. I won’t close the doors of trust forever. I will move on and eventually find the answer to his behaviour. I’m positive that it’s not my fault that he’s acted like that.” (basically that’s what you managed to do. but my method involves less soul turmoil, right?)

    “all of it is about you” means something different and has nothing to do with this topic πŸ™‚

    I hope this was helpful or at least understandable. hard to bring it across in a post comment.
    sending light, BC

    Reply
    • Thank you for this philosophical comment! I understand what you mean, and you are very right. Your method does indeed involve less soul turmoil, haha πŸ˜€
      But I do think that this kind of rational thinking was nearly impossible for me. I did suspect the guy to have a reason for his behaviour.. But asking him about it would show he had hurt me and I wasn’t ready to show that. And somehow I could imagine it to be my fault, for not being pretty, funny, nice enough or something.
      After this closure I do realize though that it helps to just ask for an explanation in order to see that, indeed, it’s not (all) your fault. To put it in its perspective. To understand. So I am very happy that I finally messaged him. And there’s my peace of mind again πŸ™‚

      Thanks for the light, it’s much appreciated πŸ˜‰

      Reply
      • BEAUTYCALYPSE

         /  June 19, 2014

        hey, in the worst case all we’ve got is this one life. so you should be enjoying it, not nurturing bad feelings. seek the light πŸ™‚
        surround yourself with positive people (I know, gloomy is the new sexy, but only in fiction – in real life, real Teachers and Philosophers have great humour – I know for me, too, I’ve searched darkness first), surround yourself with productive, constructive things, art, whatever rocks your boat.

      • Well, that’s a thing to work on! Sometimes it feels good to dwell in darkness a little. But there’s plenty of light as well, so it gets even I think πŸ™‚
        Thank you for your kind advice!

      • BEAUTYCALYPSE

         /  June 19, 2014

        ❀

  12. Happy for you πŸ™‚

    Reply
  1. A story of boy meets girl… and hurts her badly | No Blog Intended

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