Will you find your other half?

According to Plato, people are always one half of a unity. Once we were cut in half, and from that point on we are searching for our other half. Isn’t that romantic? It means there is someone who can make you complete, someone who is perfect for you.

I think many Hollywood movies are based upon this idea. The idea of “true love”, the One and Only. There is this one person you should find to find perfect happiness. This one person who will make it all worth it. The One.

I don’t know if I ever believed that theory. When I was younger, I developped a pragmatic view on love. Romantic stuff didn’t appeal to me. Pink hearts? Fluffy teddybears holding the letters I LOVE YOU? No, thanks. Watching the sunset together, long strolls on the beach. All of this never seemed to attract me. Maybe I was just trying to be ‘tough’. It is very well possible that I just didn’t want to be the girly-girl, but more the rational girl. Add to this that it hurts less when you don’t go all romance and head over heels.

Maybe it’s just my nature, who I am. For a part, I’m convinced that I am way too rational to believe in an ‘other half’. Since I’ve been thinking quite a lot about ‘love’ and finding a good guy recently, I inevitably got stuck on the question: is there a One and Only? As I see it, love is merely the product of circumstances. I don’t think there is one perfect partner for you, no matter what happens. Wouldn’t it be too good that almost everyone end up finding the One? Would there really be a plan to make you meet your other half? I have a hard time believing that such a thing is true.

And yet, you never know.
Do you think there is this one perfect person for you? Is true love real, or just a fairy tale we like to believe?

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26 Comments

  1. What a bunch of baloney. Of course there isn’t ONE person. That only applies to gibbons and swans. I’ve been deeply in love a couple of times. If there was only a mythical “one ” something chemical would occur to prevent us from falling in love a second time. And the idea that you can’t find happiness or live a full life until you’re paired off with someone is wrongheaded and dangerous. Good luck depending on someone else to provide your happiness. Look within, so says Buddha. He’s 100% correct.

    Reply
    • I too don’t like the idea that in order to feel as a ‘whole’ , you need another person. It’s like you don’t find happiness when you don’t search hard enough for your other half.

      Reply
      • In fact…the harder you look for it, the more it will allude you. Buddha is right again. Let everything flow. That Plato was an idiot.

      • Or he was just a romantic person πŸ™‚ There is something to say for such a vision as his. People want to hear this, I think, they want to believe in something as true love.

        Letting everything flow, I’m not sure on how to interpet that. You can’t force anything, of course. But I don’t know if searching love will give any result?

  2. This was a great read πŸ™‚

    The concept of The One has always left me conflicted because even though I know it’s unrealistic, I do think that a part of me wants to believe in it, just because we’ve always been surrounded by films and books etc. constantly saying how amazing it is.
    But at the same time, the concept of The One begins with love at first sight and that’s something I honestly can’t subscribe to. Lust at first sight? Yes. Attraction at first sight? Yes. But not love. Love is something that grows, it is something you work for and build and cherish. It doesn’t just happen instantaneously.
    So, in answer to your question, no I don’t think there’s one perfect person out there for everyone, but just human beings who can become your perfect person. (But perfection is overrated anyway.)

    Reply
    • I agree on what you say! It’s tempting to think it’s true, but somehow it seems to good to be true. Love at first sight is so weird! I can’t even imagine falling in love. I mean, we’re all human, and humans always have sides to them you won’t like. How do you even fall in love then?

      So yes, I too think love is something that should grow.

      Thank you for commenting, Allison!

      Reply
      • That’s the thing that baffles me too – how can you say fall in love with someone at first sight when you don’t even know who they really are?

        And no problem, I look forward to reading more from you πŸ™‚

  3. “Love” is a fancy and pretentious way of saying “the male animal sticks around to help secure the resources so the female animal can finish gestating, give birth and raise their offspring.” Biologically, that’s all it is, and no amount of pretentious fancification will ever change it.

    Reply
    • Haha, yeah, I’ve been thinking that as well. It seems more like a sort of trade. I accept you and you accept me and we will grow old together so that we still have someone around when we need company.

      And yet people fall in love. So maybe there is more to it?

      Reply
  4. Ditto what Mark said. There are multiple “The One”s through life, and each one is as magnificent as the first.

    Reply
  5. Twindaddy

     /  September 19, 2014

    With over 7 billion people on this planet, I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who are perfect for me. However, since 4 billion of those people are in China, I think they’re all hiding over there.

    As to the notion that I’m incomplete without my “other half” I call BS. I’m fine the way I am. Would I like to have someone to share my life with? Sure. Am I incomplete without it. Absolutely not.

    Reply
    • Hah! All of those people in China, it’s a bit sad, I’m too tall for them… πŸ˜‰ As you say there are probably enough people who are perfect for others. It’s good to think that way. More chance of running into to those people.

      Reply
  6. NotAPunkRocker

     /  September 19, 2014

    I think there is more than one “One” out there, but the search can get so harrowing sometimes that you can just give up the idea. I hate rejection, so unless there is a market for mail-order chubby brides that I can get into, I am not looking again.

    I am Ok being alone, I am not going to wilt away like a dying flower. It would be nice not to be lonely sometimes, but that can even happen in a relationship (with a person who may not be the “one”).

    Reply
    • The idea of “the One” kind of puts a pressure on you as well. Before you can have a peaceful life, you must be sure that it’s the One. Not just anyone, but the One.

      The more people who fit you, the higher the chances of finding them, so that’s a relief πŸ˜‰

      Reply
  7. I don’t think there’s a The One, or Mr Right, but there might be ‘Mr Alright’, as in “Alright, I’m prepared to work (bloody hard) at a relationship with you”

    Reply
    • Hmm yes, I think that’s a much healthier approach to love. Also because it shows that you have to work still instead of just thinking it will come like that πŸ™‚

      Reply
      • Which I can quite confidently say (having gotten married, and variously thought it was the BEST THING EVER, and the thing I have regretted THE VERY MOST in life (not quite on the same day, but…yeah)) is what will NEED to occur – that both people are willing to work and work and work and work and WORK at it. And then work some more. And it’s only nice *some* of the time. It’s a weird one.

  8. Love is complicated and simple at the same time. That’s what makes it so special and desirable. Only your heart can define its meaning for you.

    Reply
  9. I don’t think there is “the one”, there are many people who could be “the one”, if you get along and have feelings for each other πŸ™‚ or that might be “the one” for that point in your life. I’ve never actually sat there and thought if one person of the other was “the one” for me…. because… Ain’t nobody got time for that! πŸ™‚
    Lovely blog post, as always!

    Reply
    • Thanks!
      Before writing this, I thought the majority believed in the existence of one perfect person. Well, that’s clearly not the case!
      I agree with you that it might be a waste of time to think about it when you are getting along well anyways!

      Reply
  10. Darned if I know! But, because of the size of our planet’s population, I don’t think there is just one unity possible per person; I also think there are–logically speaking, of probabilities and all that–multiple potential partnerships. Now, whether Serendipity or kismet or whatever you want to call it brings the two halves together, that part’s coincidental and unpredictable. As for the different question of whether “true love” is “real,” it’s as real as anything we believe to be real. I think, therefore I am. I think I love (and am loved), therefore love exists, I guess! What is reality, anyway (other than, at times, overrated?)? A great thought-provoking post.

    Reply
    • Thank you for commenting! Very interesting what you say. It seems that we can conclude that there is no such thing as ‘The One’, which is so much more likely.
      And what you say about true love – well, you might just be right about that as well!

      Reply
  11. sandygathitu

     /  November 4, 2014

    Reblogged this on One For The Classics. and commented:
    Couldn’t have said it better myself.

    Reply

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