When I was 17, I was actually a pretty cool kid.

I might not have realized it back then, though I think I kind of did, since I didn’t want to become 18 then. I loved being 17. It meant freedom, free to do what you want because you’re young, and not yet the responsibilities that come along when you’re an official adult. So I guess I kind of knew that this age was brilliant. I don’t know though if I realized that I was pretty badass.

You know, I had the guts back then. I was the girl who wore fish net stockings to a catholic school. No doubt I was the only girl there in at least six years that did that. Supposedly people didn’t approve of that, but I just didn’t care. I liked the way it looked and I still like it, but don’t wear it anymore. Back then I was different and didn’t mind it the least. More the opposite. I’ve always wanted to be unique. The thing is, I just was unique over at my high school. Some people would call it weird – I can’t really disagree.

It took a long detour, but via other stuff I got in touch with 80 music back then. It was a discovery. A

What “gothic” has become for the people.
Source

treasure I opened. It all started with the ‘gothic’ groups Within Temptation and Evanescence and a lot of drama. Oh my god I am so gothic. Life is tragic. I must be a fallen angel. That kind of stuff. But then I discovered what real gothic was and like that I dived into a world of good beats and mohawks. Thanks to a forum, appropiatly called ‘The Batcave’ (this was also the name of a club in London where a lot of new wave and 80s groups performed), I got to know more and more about it. Yesterday I wanted to go back to that forum, but apparently it’s been shut down due to lack of action. It made me a bit sad. It was the first time I put myself out there on the Internet. I didn’t have a blog or Facebook back then, so this was my first public account. Exciting. It made me admire a good mohawk (it’s a rarity still), it made me listen to a lot of good music. Music barely anyone knows by now. Along my discoveries: The Cure, Joy Division, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Cocteau Twins and more obscure things. Oh, and it made me like piercings. A whole lot. We all know that this effect never really left me.

This makeup. YES. Source

Since those days I’ve always liked a good 80s beat and a good mohawk. You barely see that in the streets these days. Such a pity. I’m certainly way more open-minded than other people seeing what I have listened to (the best names to mention: Sex Gang Children, Alien Sex Fiend, Virgin Prunes) and what I like. I’m not the one who should judge… At all. So I don’t.

Then I turned 18, inevitable, and though I never stopped liking this music, I stopped listening to it so frequently and found new groups and new genres and it all stapled. I cannot stick with one specific kind of music. It’s only now, three years later, that all of sudden I started digging in that genre again. And oh, how I love it! It’s like talking to an old friend again. I missed these things without realizing it! All these songs that stuck with me when I was 17, suddenly I found them again and it was awesome. I’ve been having a little 80s party the last few days. I know I should be studying, but doesn’t that go better with some badass background music?

Both proper mohawks via this site. Just discovered, such a great collection!

Certainly one of the best parts of this ‘re-discovery’ is that I realized I truly like this music. I didn’t listen to it just for the sake of being unique and different, I listened to it because it’s my thing. That’s good to know. In my opinion it makes the younger me even more awesome, for just doing what I liked instead of trying to fit in or trying to standout. Maybe I don’t have to try to stand out at all. Maybe I’m just naturally the weird kid. That’s fine with me 😉

PS: I never died my hair black (I want to be blonde until I go grey), nor did I sport a mohawk. I’ve got four earrings and that’s as far as piercings go. I did wear a lot of black though, which I still do. That’s a tough one to eliminate.

Last but not least, one of the first songs that drew me into this kind of music and which I will always like. Plus, it’s the Sex Gang Children. Now you can tell everyone you know them.