The enemy and I

It’s a love/hate relationship. We’ve learned how to get along with each other. I know how to push your buttons. It seemed like we had a kind of deal: you accept me, I accept you. And I apologize for not always knowing what’s wrong, for not always understanding you. I really wish I could, you know. We could have the greatest time if only we could figure out how to get along and stuff. If only I could fathom you…

Because I’m using you without knowing what is going on on the inside. I’m using you every day, getting you on and off whenever I need you. Do you need me? I don’t know actually. I assume you don’t. I assume you’re here because you are the one who knows all these things about me, who gets me to places. Whenever I need advice, or even when I want to know when the library’s open, you can help. I’m very grateful for that.

But why is it so hard to really get along with you? Why do we always crash when I really need you? Is it me letting you down, or you letting me down? I can’t tell anymore. Our situation has improved a lot already, we’ve come from nothing to this. But it’s still not really what it should be. There’s still a lot of things that should be better… I want to be sure I can rely on you, I want to know more buttons I can push… I want to understand! And I want you to tell me what I do wrong. Sometimes I just sit here, baffled, not understanding what on earth went wrong. Can’t you just say what I should do in order to make it work? How hard can that be? You’re able to do so much, you know so much – why don’t you spread the wisdom? Share it with me. I beg you.

What’s going on?

In a few weeks I have an exam I’m eagerly (ahem) studying for. It’s an IT exam, and as you might know, computers will always be a struggle for me. By now I finally figured how to use the Internet, and Word perhaps. But overall I have a really small knowledge which won’t make me pass my exam this way. I do have hope that one day, my computer and I will be best friends who really understand each other. Until that day, I struggle and battle on. What else can I do?

eProblems & ICT awkwardness

When I was 12, I was scared of computers. We had computer classes, in which we had to use quite old stuff, and after a lot of very annoying and frustrating experiences, I decided never to touch a computer again, unless I had to. To give an example of the non-luck we had: one day, we were told to make a calendar. A friend and I started working on it (I remember that we used blue and green), saved it… and the next time it was gone. So we started all over. And the next time it was gone. So we started all over. And the next time it was gone. So we had to start all over during our spare time. That’s not fun.

I held onto this principle for a long time. In the second year of high school, I found out that we had to do exercices for French on a CD, so I had to use the terrible monster called ‘computer’. It wasn’t my happiest day. Besides that I had no idea how to type an ‘^’ and stuff. I tried to write all the things I had to write by hand, not to type them. It worked. In the third year, we had ICT lessons. HELL. I hated them. Everyone hated them. I’ve spent so many time inside, while everyone was relaxing outside after lunch at school, just finishing all the horrible exercices… It didn’t really improve my relationship with computers.

But then there was a light slightly growing, something like hope. I was going on an exchange program (for a week) and I wanted to talk to the girl I’d stay with before I’d arrive. So I created an e-mail account. I was fifteen. Then the mailing started, and Internet frightened me less. With the discovery of YouTube a while before this, hope had been growing and now things were getting a lot better. Finding a world of ballet and e-mails on the computer was awesome!

One year ago, I started a blog, and since then computers are necessary for my mental health and everything. But now, things have come to a climax: I’ve got my own laptop.

My own computer. Who’d have thought so?

But in fact, I’ve got it because of what is coming next year. I’m going to move away for the biggest part of the year, to another city because we’ve got no university here. I guess things are more or less the same with you. So, I need a computer.

But I’m still no expert at it, not at all! My father helped me to get everything right when starting it for the first time. That, of course, wasn’t all too easy. I mean, here, in Belgium, we use azerty, and this keyboard is azerty, but when I tried to type my name (including an ‘a’), I found out it was in qwerty. Hurrah! Totally not confusing at all! Luckily these two types aren’t that different, and I’ve got a bit of knowledge of it anyway (strange, isn’t it?). My father told me azerty was only used in Belgium and France, how weird is that?

So, okay, I’ve got this computer running, but now I’m forced to use Internet Eplorer and it is. So. Slow. I had to open your sites twice at the same time, otherwise it wouldn’t open at all. Facebook has been reloading for ages, Google isn’t anywhere near findable. I mean, Google? What the hell? I tried searching it in Bing, but then Bing said “Congrats! You can use your Bing sidebar!!” And I was like “Bing? Bitch please! I want Google!”

I still don’t see any Google. Loading, loading, loading. Arrrrrrr. Sometimes, I still dislike computers.