Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names – John F. Kennedy

I’m a kind person. At least, I like to believe I’m kind. Trying to be good, trying to help people. But however good I pretend to be, I’m also very unforgiving. Once you do me wrong, or my family, or my friends, you can just forget it. Sometimes, I find forgiving overrated. I cannot stand these people who say that we should forgive everyone, because we’re all human. Of course we’re all human, but what you do is your decision. And if I try to be good, I expect that of you as well. If you don’t try to be good and decide to insult me, then that is something you should face the effect of.

I’ve never been the person to publicly announce my discontentment, so for a big part of my life, I just let it all happen. If someone was insulting me, I wouldn’t say: “You are being a bitch, stop that.” If someone was laughing at me, I would at most try to defend myself, but nothing more. Now I’m done with that. I’m done with people who don’t seem to think of how I could feel about what they do or say. So I stopped forgiving. If you insult me, fine, but don’t expect something from me anymore. You could have chosen to not insult me. You did it yourself.

There are people who say that forgiving someone is for yourself, not for the other person. That’s probably true, but for the moment it doesn’t work for me. If I would forgive everyone, I would feel like being ran over by them. I need this ‘unforgivingness’ in order to stand strong. I will not let it happen anymore. After all it’s not hard to realize that when you tell someone ‘you shouldn’t be born’, he or she will feel insulted. That’s common sense. So if you still say that to me, I will no longer take it.

The upside to that is that people will start to ask for forgiveness. A while ago, someone contacted me on Facebook again. He had ignored me for a while, and I was pissed off. Not just by him, by the entire situation at that moment, but okay. So I wasn’t very talkative to him. Then, suddenly, he asked me if he had hurt me, and explained why he had done it. And then we finally kind of made up because we finally said what was going on. I forgave him. Had I been trying again to be the good girl you never have trouble with, he would never have apologized and I would still be mad at him. But now we made up and now it’s over and done with for me. You see, there’s still hope. If you beg for my forgiveness, chances are high you’ll get it.

For me, forgiving is just a way to let people keep on ignoring what I feel. So I will remember and when they need me, I will not be there for them. That’s just not how things go for me. I don’t want to be run over anymore.

Are you forgiving or absolutely not?

Thanks to Twindaddy for the inspiration, which he got via Daily Post.

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Was this intended?

Today, I read the Daily Post post on blog names and decided that it was about time to explain why this thing is called No Blog Intended. Why would you say it’s not intended when actually it is? I have been worrying a little that people might think I’m not a ‘real’ blogger with regular updates since it was ‘not intended’. But when you start reading other blogs, they start reading you, and well, the problem solves itself. In fact I’m glad that I don’t have all too many readers. It makes it easier for me to know who’s reading. Though this is the Internet, I don’t want to be exposed to the whole world just like that.

But I’m going off topic.

So, why is this called No Blog Intended? Let me tell you a story.

I started blogging together with a friend a few years ago (two? three?). It started out as a joke, then became real and suddenly we were blogging. But after a while I felt like I wanted recognition for what I wrote. We shared one account, so no one could know which one of us wrote something or said something. And since I became addicted to blogging and spent quite some time on it, I just wanted people to know it was me saying certain things, writing things. Also, when having two different people, we could show two different views and yet no one would know it as written by two different people.
So I slowly started feeling limited.

And then I decided to move out, leaving our original blog to my friend and starting all over again, from the beginning, with everything I wrote. When you take such a decision, you just want to get it over and done with. In a few days I needed to fix the posts transport and come up with a new name. That was really hard. Since I don’t like to blog about one subject only, I needed something that didn’t limit the content. It couldn’t be ‘balletgirl’ or ‘shortstorygirl’ or ‘musiclover15’. It had to be something that wouldn’t make all of you think it was only about one subject. It had to be something that was easy to remember, that had nothing to do with my real name, that was just a general sign of me and my blog.

It was obviously too hard to come up with something good that wasn’t already taken. And then, my brother came with the idea of No Blog Intended, as a variation on no pun intended. I was getting really impatient and decided upon that name, adding ‘but the pun is’ as a subhead. That was that. I moved out, took all my posts with me and started from scratch again. From that moment on, things really changed. It seemed like I had more freedom to write, because I think no one I know in real life still reads this and that makes me more open in some way. I would never have the guts to share short stories with people I have to face everyday. NBI became more successful than the former blog (when I was still there) after a while. I never regretted going away. It gave me the right and possibility to say everything because it was only my opinion. That’s good.

Most of you know me now as NBI. I kind of think it doesn’t matter anymore what this blog’s name is. It’s only a little part of the entire thing it is: the posts, the video’s I share, the music and so on. And if certain people think it’s not a real blog, well, than that’s a pity, but it doesn’t matter that hard. I like it the way it is now, and I’m planning on keeping it exactly like like that.

How did you come up with your blog name?