Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names – John F. Kennedy

I’m a kind person. At least, I like to believe I’m kind. Trying to be good, trying to help people. But however good I pretend to be, I’m also very unforgiving. Once you do me wrong, or my family, or my friends, you can just forget it. Sometimes, I find forgiving overrated. I cannot stand these people who say that we should forgive everyone, because we’re all human. Of course we’re all human, but what you do is your decision. And if I try to be good, I expect that of you as well. If you don’t try to be good and decide to insult me, then that is something you should face the effect of.

I’ve never been the person to publicly announce my discontentment, so for a big part of my life, I just let it all happen. If someone was insulting me, I wouldn’t say: “You are being a bitch, stop that.” If someone was laughing at me, I would at most try to defend myself, but nothing more. Now I’m done with that. I’m done with people who don’t seem to think of how I could feel about what they do or say. So I stopped forgiving. If you insult me, fine, but don’t expect something from me anymore. You could have chosen to not insult me. You did it yourself.

There are people who say that forgiving someone is for yourself, not for the other person. That’s probably true, but for the moment it doesn’t work for me. If I would forgive everyone, I would feel like being ran over by them. I need this ‘unforgivingness’ in order to stand strong. I will not let it happen anymore. After all it’s not hard to realize that when you tell someone ‘you shouldn’t be born’, he or she will feel insulted. That’s common sense. So if you still say that to me, I will no longer take it.

The upside to that is that people will start to ask for forgiveness. A while ago, someone contacted me on Facebook again. He had ignored me for a while, and I was pissed off. Not just by him, by the entire situation at that moment, but okay. So I wasn’t very talkative to him. Then, suddenly, he asked me if he had hurt me, and explained why he had done it. And then we finally kind of made up because we finally said what was going on. I forgave him. Had I been trying again to be the good girl you never have trouble with, he would never have apologized and I would still be mad at him. But now we made up and now it’s over and done with for me. You see, there’s still hope. If you beg for my forgiveness, chances are high you’ll get it.

For me, forgiving is just a way to let people keep on ignoring what I feel. So I will remember and when they need me, I will not be there for them. That’s just not how things go for me. I don’t want to be run over anymore.

Are you forgiving or absolutely not?

Thanks to Twindaddy for the inspiration, which he got via Daily Post.