My very first heartbreak

Did you know you can really die because of heartbreak? That’s something serious. It’s nothing to laugh with – it defeats you mentally and makes you a weaker pray for death.

Then again – sometimes it is a bit funny. My very first heartbreak is something I can laugh with now, and I’ve decided to share it with you.

This is a story that took place when I was six or seven years old. At that age, I didn’t even do ballet. Can you imagine that? I did attend a folk dance class. But okay, that doesn’t really matter now. I was very young back then, but somehow I have always managed to take myself completely serious. I guess it was no different back then. At that age, I in fact did have a boyfriend. Oh yes. I don’t know what we did back then though. I suppose we kind of made a deal – ‘okay, so we’re together now’ – and held hands. Or something. What do you do with a boyfriend when you’re six? I don’t remember.

I don’t remember because I only have one recollection of this relationship that was without a doubt very serious business. That recollection is of my heartbreak. One day I came to school and my boyfriend, attending the same school as I did, refused to talk to me. Or look at me. He just ignored my existence. Of course I didn’t understand. It was more than that – I was devastated. I remember watching the older kids, of whom I thought they were very old and wise. Needless to say they were as childish as you are at age 12. They were playing with a ball, and I was watching them and thinking ‘how can they possibly be happy?’. I couldn’t find that happiness within myself anymore, and it was impossible for me to imagine being happy ever again. My best friend tried to comfort me, but I don’t think it worked.

That’s one real heartbreak. I guess I’ve always remembered it because of that feeling of never being able to smile again. That’s something heavy to feel when you’re six or seven.
Later on my boyfriend declared that he was testing me – thank you, darling – and everything was fine again. Until we no longer were together, I suppose.

*Fast forward*

Fourteen years later on, where are we both now? Thanks to Facebook that’s not hard to figure out. Apparently he has an obsession with kayaking nowadays, and he’s still single. I do believe he’s already working. As for me? I’m going to college, have an obsession with dancing and am still single. But honestly, I don’t think he’s my type after all…