Evil is the new sexy (part 1)

Question: what should a human being be like?
Good answer: good, kind, empathic, loving.
Fun answer: slightly evil!

Lately I’ve been noticing quite often that the slightly evil people in books or movies often turn out to be the most interesting and sexy characters. Do we really want kind and loving people, or do we in fact like it when someone is being a bit of a douchebag/bitch? Do we really want to be the good people everyone tells us to be?

No, we don’t. Because when you’re too good, you’re missing out, and you might let people run over you. Being a tad evil means you are strong enough to stand up for yourself. Being strong is nice, so yeah. When realizing this, I started looking around to see if I could find some good evil examples, so here we go…

Let’s start with a good old one: Dracula. The classic example of a man that’s dangerous and bad for your health, but o so irresistible. At least, that’s what he’s become lately, thanks to the media (the original Dracula is just a serial killer – nothing romantic about that). Now this series is running on the Belgian tv, and I so want to watch it! I mean, the hat, the moustaches, the clothes for god’s sake! I’m normally not very fond of moustaches, but hey, it’s No Shave November after all. And Joe just rocks it. (I shouldn’t call him Joe, should I?)

Let’s stay in this atmosphere a little bit with the movie The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. While most people aren’t very fond of it, I actually kind of enjoyed it. Especially Mina Harker, the Mina of Dracula indeed, was so cool. She was this mature, dignified woman with dresses and a voice to kill for. And o yeah, she’s a vampire! But above all that whole attitude of her – she’s the kind of woman you are a bit scared of, because she knows more than you do, and she will be right, always.

Mina

Next to that, there’s this Dorian Gray in this movie. He’s a total bastard and looks like one too, but still, some people get away with that.

Now, let’s leave the vampire sector and move on to a pretty evil song from Indiana. If you think you hear ‘I want to hurt you just for fun’, you are very right. To quote the singer though: “I make music to tell stories, I don’t want to hurt people just for fun.”(approximately a quote) But believe me, when you’re a bit angry or in a bad mood, this is perfect to listen to.

A good example of evil, but also good, is Morgan La Fay. She’s a powerful sorceress and possible half sister of King Arthur. She tried to get that pretty amazing sword Excalibur while Arthur wants it as well. For this purpose she uses one of her lovers. One of them. Which means there were more. But next to her evil actions she’s also a good human being. When Arthur is fatally injured, she’s one of the women carrying him to Avalon.

By JR Spencer Stanhope

Those eyes! That look! She’s kinda a femme fatale.

The last one for now is I. Not I as in me, but I from Zamyatin’s novel ‘We’. It’s 1984 avant la lettre; the story takes place in the future, when society has become something very clear (literally a glass world). There is but one party everyone has to vote for. Actually, you don’t have to, but they’ll take you out if you don’t, because it means there’s something wrong with you. Everyone is happy that you’re protected this way. Now in this world lives D, a devoted and good human being who works really hard and is really convinced that this world is perfect. He starts writing a diary in which he writes about his work and his world. But slowly there’s this I showing up in his life more and more. She’s not the example of a good citizen of the One State, she drinks, she smokes, she breaks the rules. But D gets attracted to her, she almost makes him worship her. But then (spoiler alert!), of course, it turns out she was using him the entire time to get a revolution started. She used him and he believed she loved him… Tragic. And though you know it’s not very likely she truly loves him, you still kind of believe it might all be real…
Evil evil evil, but irresistible.

Stay tuned for more evilness!

For once and for all

Addiction.
The moment you know exactly what you should do, but you don’t. The moment you know you should turn around and leave, but you stay. You stay and kill your conscience. Living in the moment, but not in the good way.
The feeling you should wave him aside and you don’t. Because you can’t really miss it. And you want more. So you stay, just to get more of this. Even though it’s certainly not good for you. And you know it.

But you stay.

Addiction.

I’m not good at saying ‘no’. If I want something, I want it now, immediately. There are times I really think about the future, but sometimes, I don’t care. What matters is that I’ve got the chance now to feel like someone cares, so Iwant to take the opportunity. There’s nothing as addicting as feeling like someone cares about you. Affection is probably the worst drug.
It’s easier to see myself as a victim that way. After we had met, it quickly became clear that this would lead to nothing. You can’t keep up the enthusiasm if you never meet each other, so I was sort of prepared for it to fade out, which it did. I truly believed we wouldn’t meet again, and above all, I believed it didn’t matter for him whether he saw me or not. I was like the optional part in his life. Which doesn’t mean it didn’t matter to me when it all really faded out.
But things changed again. We met again. It mattered again. At least it seemed to be that way. I was never sure though; was I being pathetic? Did he actually like me? Did he care? And how was I supposed to find out when we would never meet on purpose, when all we did was meeting at night by chance? I was constantly balancing between something and nothing. The voice of reason in my head was pretty clear: this is bullshit. He doesn’t care and never will, so stop wasting your time on it.

But how tempting it is to feel like  someone cares… So I killed that voice of reason, ignored it, burnt it down. Sort of. That’s when things only got worse. If someone brings you a teddy bear in the middle of the night, wouldn’t you think you weren’t just optional? That you mattered to him? When he leaves his friends for you, wouldn’t you think there would be coming more than just another night of drinking together?
Maybe I’m just wrong.
Or maybe he’s just an asshole who in fact never cared and who just tried to take advantage of me. At least the voice of reason in my head made sure I wouldn’t do anything too stupid, that would make it all the more confusing afterwards.
You know, after that, when it all faded out again. I returned to optional. Everything started to be ‘a long time ago’. We didn’t even meet at night anymore. You can’t live on nothing and so this died.

Of course I liked the nights with too much beer, cigarettes, him and his friends. But they weren’t quite healthy and mostly they made the morning after pretty hard. I shouldn’t blame him for the fact that I drank and stayed up such a long time, but he certainly didn’t help. His bad habits were slowly changing into mine too. It was all quite addicting, and that’s why I would never have made it stop myself. He was the one who let it fade away.

It’s probably better for you to have the source of addiction removed. But I truly hope I will see him again someday, just to show him what he misses and that I won’t be tricked again by him. Because really, I should have stopped you from using me this way, but while I couldn’t, you should have ended this twisted something right away. Like you subtly, vaguely said you would. But you didn’t.

So sincerely: fuck you.

In this context, please don’t interpret this song as a song on BDSM. Thank you.
Related posts:

* To get me out
* Running over the same old ground…

* Beauty in the breakdown
* To darkness and to me