It’s a love/hate relationship. We’ve learned how to get along with each other. I know how to push your buttons. It seemed like we had a kind of deal: you accept me, I accept you. And I apologize for not always knowing what’s wrong, for not always understanding you. I really wish I could, you know. We could have the greatest time if only we could figure out how to get along and stuff. If only I could fathom you…

Because I’m using you without knowing what is going on on the inside. I’m using you every day, getting you on and off whenever I need you. Do you need me? I don’t know actually. I assume you don’t. I assume you’re here because you are the one who knows all these things about me, who gets me to places. Whenever I need advice, or even when I want to know when the library’s open, you can help. I’m very grateful for that.

But why is it so hard to really get along with you? Why do we always crash when I really need you? Is it me letting you down, or you letting me down? I can’t tell anymore. Our situation has improved a lot already, we’ve come from nothing to this. But it’s still not really what it should be. There’s still a lot of things that should be better… I want to be sure I can rely on you, I want to know more buttons I can push… I want to understand! And I want you to tell me what I do wrong. Sometimes I just sit here, baffled, not understanding what on earth went wrong. Can’t you just say what I should do in order to make it work? How hard can that be? You’re able to do so much, you know so much – why don’t you spread the wisdom? Share it with me. I beg you.

What’s going on?

In a few weeks I have an exam I’m eagerly (ahem) studying for. It’s an IT exam, and as you might know, computers will always be a struggle for me. By now I finally figured how to use the Internet, and Word perhaps. But overall I have a really small knowledge which won’t make me pass my exam this way. I do have hope that one day, my computer and I will be best friends who really understand each other. Until that day, I struggle and battle on. What else can I do?