You only live twice – if you stay with me during a zombie attack…

We’re close to the end of the big contest made by Le Clown. Soon from now we’ll know who’s on the blogroll after all, and who isn’t. We all fought and battled until the last breath, but it was worth it. It definitely was.

Thanks to this competition, people refer to Le Clown’s blogroll as ‘the blogroll’. It’s more like a concept now. Thanks to the contest, I promised to write a post on why you want me in your team during a zombie attack. You know, it’s not unlikely that there’ll be  zombie attack. We can send strange things to Mars, why couldn’t there be zombies then? But don’t worry, if they’re heading towards us, I’ll help you out!
Stay close to me because…

1. I speak four languages, in the near future six languages, and I can translate Latin. I mean, we don’t know which language they use, right?

2. I’m quite good at laser shooting. That means: if you give me a non-moving zombie, enough time, silence and a laser gun, I’ll hit him. Useful, isn’t it?

3. I’m in a team with Love&Lunchmeat. She’s like necessary during a zombie attack. Read why.

4. I’ve got red eyes and a grizzled skin, which must be very attractive to zombies. No one (except freaks) eat people they find attractive.

5. Being right is my hobby. If they decide to debate with me (should we kill you – yes/no), I’d probably win.

6. You’ve got no idea how hard the noses of pointe shoes are. Weapons, that is what they are, real weapons.
(The trick is to use them as slings.)

Take the pointe shoe by the drawstring. Follow further instructions.

Stay close to me and everything will be fine! If you like my entry on the last call for the blogroll, you’ll be on top of the list of people to help. But be quick! Be very, very quick!

Oh, and thanks.