A mess, a mess, it’s all a mess…

You better leave no traces of whatever you do
Cover it up and pray they won’t know
What you did, what hope grew inside you
There’s a chance it won’t work though

There’s a chance everything will go
And leave you with relief
Or else it will haunt you so
You won’t even know what to believe

Just don’t believe you’ll get out.
You’ll be in for as long as it takes
For everyone to judge, to shout
To not understand ’till it aches

Just don’t believe you’ll get out
The way you want to leave this mess.
Drag it around and then find out
They care about you even less…

My head is about to explode because of all these thoughts. This was just to let go of some of them. I had absolutely no idea what would be coming out when I started writing. It’s not even good, but it’s quite a good insight of my thoughts right now. Everything’s getting a mess. I’m so very sure I’m heading to the end, I’m at the edge, and I wasn’t about to regret it, but somewhere I will regret the fact that it’s all over.
But it isn’t over yet. Some things can’t be turned around. What to do when people start freaking over that? What to do when everything is getting this absolute mess?

What NBI wants

I know I can’t escape it, so merry Christmas everyone!
For this special event of drinking and eating, I will tell you about things I like.
– Brushing my teeth! When they are sticky, it feels so good to brush them and make them clean again. Such a great feeling!
– Darts. When we slept over at a classmate’s house, we’ve played it several times. Not with everyone at a time, of course. It was really really fun and I was pretty good at it too. In the morning we started a game with two people, but more and more people joined in and we ended up with six people playing darts. Yeah.


– Balloons. The same night and day I had a lot of fun with balloons. Creates a great spirit of friendship when you try to keep it moving together. When it falls, the earth will vanish. That’s what we made up, at least.
– Warm showers. Because they are warm. Need I say more? I let the temperature go up until my legs turn red. That’s the best temperature.
– Cleaning up a mess. I’ve been doing it all day at work, and it gives such a good feeling of, you know, cleanness. Oddly enough I don’t mind a mess at home. Maybe because I don’t get payed to clean it up.
– Talking with you, my dears. You know I like you all. *kiss* (How many kisses do you give for Christmas? It’s interesting how different it can be. Here, you have to give three. What are you waiting for?)
– My mother made chocolate truffles with cinnamon and clove. God.
– A fresh magazine can make my heart beat faster. That’s the truth. Even when I don’t like today’s fashion. Just the feeling of all those pages and pictures… That’s just… it. I can’t even throw them away. I still have Glamours of 2010. Seriously.

Let’s stop here. What makes you happy, my dears? What can I offer you so you will return here? A biscuit perhaps?