In case of nonsense, break rules

(Did I say the sun had returned? I was wrong. It’s been snowing more than ever happened this year now. Sigh.
It could make me go all sad again, but I’m a strong and independent woman so I’m still pretty ok. After all I got the helix, so my life is like complete. I GOT IT. It’s still hard to believe sometimes. I had the guts to do something that is for forever and ever? Seriously? But yes, I did have the guts. Ow yeah.)

I just said my life is complete. Well, that’s not really true. Life can never be complete and perfect and stuff, we all know that, but it can come closer than you thought was possible. If I forget the crappy snow and the running-over-the-same-old-ground (which causes doubts, but nothing worse than that), my life is pretty cool at the moment. School’s going well, I have awesome friends, good music, nice clothes and so on. University seems to be good for me. I realised I no longer feel like very upset or frustrated or sad anymore. I can put thing into perspective, which I believe is very important to become happy, or at least at ease with life.

So, you’d think I live a good life now. Well, think again. One of the things that caused me to be seriously frustrated in high school, was the amount of nonsense we had to swallow all the time. There was nonsense everywhere. Stupid rules, stupid people, stupid subjects. Useless subjects. I mean, I’m interested in quite some things. Even maths and physics. In a measure, that is. As soon as it goes too far, I loose my attention. But okay, that’s just what you deem ‘interesting’. There were a lot of things that

Look at the hair! Look at it! It’s AWESOME.

were completely useless though. We had a subject called ‘religion’, and it was complete bullshit. We didn’t even really talk about religions or something. We talked about Jesus’ anatomy…

Next to that, we got a lot of assignments that lead to nothing at all. You had to spend hours to get them done, and they were so useless… It pissed me off. I can’t stand useless things. Especially during the last year of high school it made me go insane. During that period I started listening to more punk music. Thinking about it now, it seems very logic. Rebelling against the standard.

I thought university would change that, and it sort of did. I firmly believe it’s one of the things that made me happier here: less useless stuff, a destination to go to, not just random walking. I barely have anything to do that doesn’t seem to have use. I’ve got a lot to do, I’ve got a lot of vocabulary to learn, but in the end it will help me to speak Russian and Polish. It all has a reason.

All?
No, not all. Because during these months, we’ve got a course of philosophy…

And we’re starting all over again. Thinking about life is good, too much thinking is useless and demotivating. Especially in combination with difficult words (with way easier synonyms!), it pisses me off to the point of not being able to listen or study this. My brain goes like ‘nope – useless’ and goes running around on green fields in the sun. Seriously. I don’t want to waste time on this… I mean, Internet is often useless as well, but that’s a different kind. Stop following me with obligatory nonsense and I’ll be very happy again. Until that day, you’ll keep seeing me pissed off.

And with a punk haircut. Promised.

As my name starts with an ‘A’, this was my ‘signature’ for when an assignment made no sense.

How do you handle obligatory useless stuff? Do you become a rebel or do you just do what you’ve got to do? Will you scream for anarchy or obey all the rules and swallow it all?

Earrings and drama (or rather the absence of both…)

So I’m sitting at home and feeling a bit lost. When nothing really happens, I start to freak out by fear of missing out of something. Where’s the drama? Where’s the doubts? Where are they? I’ve got nothing to tell and that’s just sad. I need more stuff to think and talk about, otherwise I end up like this: doing nothing at all though I’ve got a test coming up, and feeling like this – sort of empty, sort of useless. It’s time for some adventure again. Hopefully soon.

Meanwhile, I will enjoy the sun (it has returned! it has returned!) and my new jeans shirt. I can become incredibly happy because of something like a jeans shirt, because of waking up due to sunlight, because of spending time with friends while enjoying the sun, and so on. I know I shouldn’t want more, but I definitely miss just something going on. Something, just fucking something! And I’m not talking about the regular stuff that is always going on. I’d even prefer doing slightly stupid things over doing nothing at all.

There. I said it. I’d rather be stupid than at home, studying, like I should? Dear lord. I’m such a teenager.

My punk/post-punk/ new wave love has returned full power thanks to my new jeans shirt, which is slightly new wave. I seriously consider getting myself a helix again. I’ve been thinking about this for about two years or something, and I’ll probably keep on thinking about it without any result… Will I regret it? I mean, after all it would be but an earring… There are plenty of other things I could regret, drinking too much, smoking, drugs,… And I’m fairly good at running away from all those things, so maybe I deserve this kind of regret.

Eternal doubts about earrings and a lack of drama. I almost can’t get over the teenageness of this post…! 😉

 

Harmony in my Head

The life of a student is hard. Yesterday, I got home at 4:30 in the morning, to rise at 7:30 again. Ouch. But I had a great night, and I guess that makes up for the yawning and sleepiness…
Anyway, here’s a catchy song that I discovered thanks to Rutabaga. As I am too tired right now to write a decent post, you’ll have to do with this…
(By the way, I still owe you the third part of Crossing the Edge. Help! University takes even more time than blogging!)