Is it over already?

You might or might not have noticed that I’ve been absent for a while. I was on a much needed holiday – skiing. Nothing makes your mind as clear as skiing. Just broad fields of snow. Your only aim is to get at the end of it without falling. I like that. It cleared my mind, made me feel good, smiley, happy. I needed that after the long time of studying inside. Some fresh air and nothing to remind me of the daily life I would have to dive in again when we would be back home.

But now we’re back home and I had to dive in again.

I discovered I don’t like that. At all. How come my holiday is over already? If you start counting it’s quite sad actually – we spent three months having classes, than more than a month studying, and then: one single week of holiday. One. Single. Week. And thanks to my awesome teachers I already had to do a sort of task meanwhile. How I love that.

At least I have had four days of snow and snow only, with fresh air, sun, good food and my family. I could use some more of that, but it’s good to at least have had that. Now you canexpect me to comment, like and post again. See you seen, my dears.

The enemy and I

It’s a love/hate relationship. We’ve learned how to get along with each other. I know how to push your buttons. It seemed like we had a kind of deal: you accept me, I accept you. And I apologize for not always knowing what’s wrong, for not always understanding you. I really wish I could, you know. We could have the greatest time if only we could figure out how to get along and stuff. If only I could fathom you…

Because I’m using you without knowing what is going on on the inside. I’m using you every day, getting you on and off whenever I need you. Do you need me? I don’t know actually. I assume you don’t. I assume you’re here because you are the one who knows all these things about me, who gets me to places. Whenever I need advice, or even when I want to know when the library’s open, you can help. I’m very grateful for that.

But why is it so hard to really get along with you? Why do we always crash when I really need you? Is it me letting you down, or you letting me down? I can’t tell anymore. Our situation has improved a lot already, we’ve come from nothing to this. But it’s still not really what it should be. There’s still a lot of things that should be better… I want to be sure I can rely on you, I want to know more buttons I can push… I want to understand! And I want you to tell me what I do wrong. Sometimes I just sit here, baffled, not understanding what on earth went wrong. Can’t you just say what I should do in order to make it work? How hard can that be? You’re able to do so much, you know so much – why don’t you spread the wisdom? Share it with me. I beg you.

What’s going on?

In a few weeks I have an exam I’m eagerly (ahem) studying for. It’s an IT exam, and as you might know, computers will always be a struggle for me. By now I finally figured how to use the Internet, and Word perhaps. But overall I have a really small knowledge which won’t make me pass my exam this way. I do have hope that one day, my computer and I will be best friends who really understand each other. Until that day, I struggle and battle on. What else can I do?

In case of nonsense, break rules

(Did I say the sun had returned? I was wrong. It’s been snowing more than ever happened this year now. Sigh.
It could make me go all sad again, but I’m a strong and independent woman so I’m still pretty ok. After all I got the helix, so my life is like complete. I GOT IT. It’s still hard to believe sometimes. I had the guts to do something that is for forever and ever? Seriously? But yes, I did have the guts. Ow yeah.)

I just said my life is complete. Well, that’s not really true. Life can never be complete and perfect and stuff, we all know that, but it can come closer than you thought was possible. If I forget the crappy snow and the running-over-the-same-old-ground (which causes doubts, but nothing worse than that), my life is pretty cool at the moment. School’s going well, I have awesome friends, good music, nice clothes and so on. University seems to be good for me. I realised I no longer feel like very upset or frustrated or sad anymore. I can put thing into perspective, which I believe is very important to become happy, or at least at ease with life.

So, you’d think I live a good life now. Well, think again. One of the things that caused me to be seriously frustrated in high school, was the amount of nonsense we had to swallow all the time. There was nonsense everywhere. Stupid rules, stupid people, stupid subjects. Useless subjects. I mean, I’m interested in quite some things. Even maths and physics. In a measure, that is. As soon as it goes too far, I loose my attention. But okay, that’s just what you deem ‘interesting’. There were a lot of things that

Look at the hair! Look at it! It’s AWESOME.

were completely useless though. We had a subject called ‘religion’, and it was complete bullshit. We didn’t even really talk about religions or something. We talked about Jesus’ anatomy…

Next to that, we got a lot of assignments that lead to nothing at all. You had to spend hours to get them done, and they were so useless… It pissed me off. I can’t stand useless things. Especially during the last year of high school it made me go insane. During that period I started listening to more punk music. Thinking about it now, it seems very logic. Rebelling against the standard.

I thought university would change that, and it sort of did. I firmly believe it’s one of the things that made me happier here: less useless stuff, a destination to go to, not just random walking. I barely have anything to do that doesn’t seem to have use. I’ve got a lot to do, I’ve got a lot of vocabulary to learn, but in the end it will help me to speak Russian and Polish. It all has a reason.

All?
No, not all. Because during these months, we’ve got a course of philosophy…

And we’re starting all over again. Thinking about life is good, too much thinking is useless and demotivating. Especially in combination with difficult words (with way easier synonyms!), it pisses me off to the point of not being able to listen or study this. My brain goes like ‘nope – useless’ and goes running around on green fields in the sun. Seriously. I don’t want to waste time on this… I mean, Internet is often useless as well, but that’s a different kind. Stop following me with obligatory nonsense and I’ll be very happy again. Until that day, you’ll keep seeing me pissed off.

And with a punk haircut. Promised.

As my name starts with an ‘A’, this was my ‘signature’ for when an assignment made no sense.

How do you handle obligatory useless stuff? Do you become a rebel or do you just do what you’ve got to do? Will you scream for anarchy or obey all the rules and swallow it all?

Fear (and A Competition)

I’m scared. Yes, I’m really getting scared. In a weird way.
Monday, in two days, I’ll be going to university. For the first time in 18 years (my entire life) I’ll be living somewhere else for the greatest part of the year. And that is rather scary…

In Belgium, the school system is quite easy. You have nursery school from when you’re ready until you’re six. Then you’ve got primary school, with two months holiday every year, until you’re twelve. Next, you go to high school, for six years again, with two months holiday again. Somehow, this step wasn’t that hard to make. I mostly followed my brother to his high school. I knew a few people there, and I was tired of my old classmates anyway. But this last year of high school, I was getting tired of it. I was tired of people telling me what to do. As a real member of my family, I can’t cope with people patronizing me. At seventeen, you don’t want to do useless stuff anymore. I wanted to get out of this grey zone with this patronizing, overly useless courses and teachers. It wasn’t all that bad, of course, but I needed to break free.

Yeah, me too.

Now I’ve come to the point of leaving high school, leaving this city, leaving this people behind (man, like I’ve got tired of people this year!). And now I’m getting scared. I will know no one in my new class! I’ll have to find out stuff by myself! I’ll have to feed myself!
I’ll have to survive completely on my own!

In fact, that’s not true. My brother will be in the same city , some friends will be there as well, plenty of help is available if only you ask for it. And yet it keeps me awake at night. Not too long, because sleep takes over eventually. You get my point. I’m changing my life Monday and I can only hope I’ll make it better. But who can guarantee that my class will be filled with nice, amusing people, that my courses will be fun and that I will be able to handle it?

That’s why I’m scared. Nearly scared to death.

Bonus! If you are a good reader of mine, you could perhaps know which studies I’ll be doing! I need at least one keyword. E.G. ‘Swahili’ if I’d so Swahilian and Star Warsian studies. The first one to guess the right studies may choose his own prize!

Decisions upon a life

I’m tired, things go wrong, irony strikes back and I’m tired. I want to sleep for days.
All of this is causing me to be in a bad mood, which shows itself by me being silent, critical, cynical and sarcastic. I am not the friendliest person now. You’d better hide if you have ever done me harm. I’ll strike back with violent words and mean remarks.
So… it might be better if you, my dears, take over and tell nosy me about your ambitions. You know, next year I’ll go to university and that means I have to choose. (Choose! Like I can choose! What a duck. Put me in a cafe and I cannot choose what I’ll drink. And now I’ll decide on my future?) I’ll probably do Slavic studies (Russian, Polish and the history, geography and so on).
But what about you? What did you want to be when you were a child? (I wanted to be a dancer – imagine! how weird! – or a writer – until I saw my inpiration fogging away (moving away like fog) as soon as I started a blog)
What do you do now? Do you like your job?
Tell me all about it. I’m a patient audience.

Military operation – Science Magazines

Background: NBI needs 7 articles about science, more specific about the universe.

Team: Father of NBI
NBI

14:22  Enter library. Enter magazine section.
14:23  Collect right magazines. Check for right articles, while sitting next to bunch of old men.
14:56  Articles collected. Magazines piled in most efficient way.
15:01  Start copying. NBI passes on magazines on right page. Father of NBI copies.
15:12  Copying done.
15:13  Put stickers with information about the source on the copies. Fold copies into A4.
15:15  Leave library.

Mission succeeded with military precision.

What you’re searching for – it’s here

Do you ever wonder how people end up on a certain blog? Random Female Blog will now leak some search terms used to find us. (Or search terms that found us)
There are things like “Anne Geddes” – hopefully no fan of her, for that fan will hunt us down now – and “female combat boots“. By the way, people do actually search for babies dressed like flowers! And then they end up reading my post… Must be shock and horror. The one term that is used very, very often, is “chignon“. Does everyone wants it now or something? It’s a bit weird. A bit.
Anyway. Today, someone tried to find “danzig drenched in blood”, and I’m in fact not sure what (s)he wanted to find. Someone tried “I’m doing it”. No idea what has led to our blog, and no idea what he wanted to be lead to.
There was really one lovely soul searching for “Sex Gang Children Into The Abyss Blogspot“! I thought I was one of the last 5 people who know them.
Further on a lot of “dubstep cyanide happiness“, “loneliness of the prime numbers“, and “slaughted at barnaby close“. Yes, that is a mistake, it should be slaughteR. We all know that, because we all read the story! If not, a few clicks will get you there.

Oh, and I’m also happy and surprised that someone searched for “angry matryoshka“. She’s worth so much more attention!

You’re doing it wrong…

After fifteen years of hard work, dedication and a standard half-comatose condition, a teacher we have finds it necessary to tell us how we should study. After all those years of learning, after all those tests that made us end up at that school, after which we have to go to university to be able to get a job, we can’t study.

We got a document, telling us what we should do, how we should do it etcetera. And while reading it, I could only think I’m doing it wrong.

I’m doing it wrong, people. There is a great chance that later, they’ll have to pay me per minute, but I’m not doing it right. Instead of reading my lessons all over when coming home from school, I’m blogging. Instead of reading things out loud, I sing along with (great) songs. Instead of studying the way I should, I’m having something that resembles to A Life. Imagine. A Life! While going to school! Imagine. Can’t be. But unlike some history teachers, I seem to live in the Now. I didn’t know it, until – eh – now.

I’m sorry if it bothers you that I use my marker, or that I write my notes somehow different than you do, but it seems to work for me, so I’m not really sorry at all. AT ALL. Thanks for the tips and now shut up because there are two (maybe three!) people waiting for a post on this very blog. And that’s what I’m doing now, and I’m doing it right.

*well, maybe not that right, I’ve been editing this thing six or seven times*