How to keep tights alive

You know those tights made of nylon? Men will scratch their heads now, but women will say “Oh, yes, those things that are even more fragile than a painting of the 17th century”, or something like that. But here’s your guide to keep them alive and kicking:

1. Don’t have nails. Check your fingers and toes for these things. Tear them out when present.
2. Don’t move while wearing them. Try to reduce breathing as much as possible. Never close your eyes when they were opened when putting on the tights. Be a statue.
3. Have a house made of terry (fabric).
4. Remove any sharp object before putting the tights on. Only round, fluffy things can stay. Don’t touch them though. If you move, your warranty is no longer.
5. Don’t wear them. Put them under a glass bell that you keep in a dark room (vacuum when possible). Never let anyone enter that room.

If anything goes wrong, even when having obeyed these rules, then contact us.

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11 Comments

  1. I never have this problem with football socks. Would you like to borrow mine?

    Reply
    • Actually I don’t have so many troubles with tights. I see other people struggling with them, and I thought they could use some helpful, professional help.

      Reply
  2. Becoming Bitter

     /  November 9, 2011

    If I say I don’t wear tights and never wore them… will I be shunned from the female community?

    Reply
  3. Haha…funny :))) Those are good advices.

    Reply

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